The oldest Lives
by Crazy4Moony
Summary: Sirius gives Harry a locket that once belonged to his father, which he used to store all his most precious moments, in order to be able to tell a love story, without having to -tell- the story. But than why does every memory have Lucius Malfoy in it? JPLM
1. Memory lane no One

**The oldest lives.**

**Memory lane nr. One**

**AN: one bit of explanation: when you're in the memory, the actual happenings in James****' life will be in **_**italics**_**. Anything Harry thinks or says, or anything concerning Harry at all during the scene, will just be in **normal letters**. Thanks, hope you enjoy!**

"I think it's time Remus and I gave this to you Harry," Sirius said, holding a gold locket. "It was your father's."

"What?" Harry took the item from Sirius' hand, and immediately felt a strong power flowing through his body, starting with his fingers. He was a bit confused.

"Your father made this," Remus explained. "It tells the story of his life... well, not quite—"

"It tells the story of the love of his life." Sirius corrected Remus, smiling at the man—truth be told, it told a bit about the love of their lives too.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, honestly confused.

'_The love of his life? About my mother and my dad?'_

"Just go see for yourself," Sirius smiled at him, ruffling his hair as he kept on giving Sirius the obvious you're-talking-riddles-man look. "It works like a Pensieve," he explained. "Just... your dad edited a bit, and it tells his story like..."

"Like a movie—except that he didn't cut any pieces out, just mend them nicely together." Remus continued.

Sirius nodded, and gave Harry an encouraging smile.

"Go on then—try it. You want to know, right?"

Harry nodded, and then made a switch inside his head. He wanted to know what they meant—wanted to see for himself, how brilliant his father had been. And he was really interested about his father's life. So he carefully opened the locket. The room evolved immediately. Harry felt like he was falling—but he stayed perfectly still. It felt like floating through thin air, and in two seconds flat he was sitting in a comfortable chair. There was a young version of James standing in the corner of a spacious room. Well... spacious. It had no walls—everything was just white. Except for the chair—the chair was red with silver.

"Hello to you! Welcome to James Potter's memory lane. If you're in this it means you're Sirius Black or Remus Lupin, or that I'm death—both are possible," James grinned wildly, and even though he was looking right at Harry, he had the idea that his father couldn't really, _really_ see him. "My genius mind decided to make this very easy on you, so you have two options—we can watch my life chapter by chapter, or all at once. During the story, you can quit watching, just by saying that you want to stop—we'll halt, and you will be able to save your watching data. So, please, how would you like to watch my life?"

Harry blinked. His father was seriously standing there. He had a weird vest on—one of those white ones, that made him look like a doctor. His eyes were behind thick frames—not much different from Harry's—and though he had a nice, tidy look about him, his hair was a complete mess.

"Erm..." Harry stared. He wondered if he would be able to touch him.

"Any questions?" James asked, obviously noting the doubt.

"Can I touch you?" Harry blunted out, and James' smile grew.

"I'm very sorry sir—I am but a mere fragment of James Potter—quite inanimate, I'm afraid. See me as a memory—you can walk around in those too, but if you try to touch us, you'll go right through."

"Oh... okay... I'll guess I'll just watch the story chapter to chapter then?" Harry smiled—even though he couldn't touch his dad, he was still right there. And it made him happier then he'd been before.

"Excellent choice," a sort of menu appeared out of thin air, circling around them, and doctor-James selected one of the windows. "Now don't be afraid—this might tickle a little."

And indeed it did—Harry got an odd feeling in his belly, and it seemed as if he and his chair dropped down into orbit—but they didn't. They ended up in a dungeon. Nothing happened.

"This will be easier on you if you don't sit down sir," the memory-James said—Harry noted he was wearing a different attire: black jeans and a green sweater—and Harry's chair disappeared. Harry didn't fall down though, which he found quite weird. "If you're in need of the chair again, or want a rest, tell me and I'll give you back your seat, or halt the scene."

Harry nodded.

"A little explanation—the story starts in my first year at Hogwarts," Harry frowned at this—shouldn't it start with when he was born? But then he remembered what Sirius had said. _It tells the story of the love of his life._

"So, let's begin, shall we? Enjoy." And all Harry could do was stare.

_The class filled with people immediately—all first year Gryffindors and Slytherins. James and Sirius were the last to enter. James was only twelve, like Sirius, and they were both grinning, ties a bit out-of-place. __James looked a lot like Harry had when he was in his first year at Hogwarts—but he had a different aura about him. And something bad-boy-ish. They sat down with Remus and Peter, on the row behind a redheaded girl and her friends. All the Slytherins were on the other side of the classroom—it was obvious that they didn't get along. Slughorn came from out of his office, smiling brightly at his new students._

"_Ah! Hello, hello! And welcome to my class! I'm looking forward to—" there was a hard knock on the door, that had closed minutes before, and Slughorn paused, irritated. "Yes, come in."_

_The door opened, and in came a blonde. _'Malfoy? No, his hair's too long... Malfoy's dad!'_ Lucius bowed his head, but didn't comment as he placed himself next to Severus Snape._

"_Ah, mister Malfoy—professor Dumbledore explained that you'd be late. Please, do try to come on time next lesson though." Slughorn smiled brightly. Lucius just nodded—_and Harry couldn't help notice that his dad was staring at the blonde—instead of at the redhead, who'd he'd expected to draw all of James' attention.

The scene evolved, and memory-James was now also wearing a red scarf with the green pullover and black jeans, since they were outside.

"_Slytherins suck." Sirius said, walking through the woods next to James and Remus—they were heading for herbology, but Peter wasn't there._

"_You just hate them because your whole family was in Slytherin." James said, thumping his ribs playfully._

"_Shouldn't you too? Didn't you say that earlier, Mister Potter?" Sirius asked wisely._

"_Okay, most of them suck," James admitted. "But they don't all seem too bad. The Lucius guy looks kind of okay." _Harry's eyes widened, and explanation-James just stared dreamily at himself—he had something Dumbledore-ish about him.

"_Yeah, I know Lucius—he's okay, his parents aren't," Sirius said pensively, glancing over at Remus once, who didn't say anything. "They're really pure evil—worse than my mother, and that's saying a lot."_

"_Wauw," James said apprehensively. "Must be pretty shitty to be him."_

"_He'll live," Sirius grinned, and they reached the greenhouse. "I just hope we do—with all the creepy plants."_

_As Sirius entered the greenhouse, James whispered to Remus: "did he just refer to the plants as 'creepy'?"_

_And Remus nodded, laughing and shrugging his shoulders._

The scene passed again, and Harry had to admit his father had done a good job—he almost didn't even notice the interruptions any more, it was like flipping through the scenes in a movie. He was also very curious as to why his dad was being friendly about Lucius Malfoy.

The image had moved into the greenhouse, rather than out—they hadn't changed much, except for the plants, apparently.

"_Good afternoon class," __Professor Sprout greeted. They all stared at the rather ugly beings in front of them—weird plants with long petals, which looked rotten. They all had their dragon-skin gloves with them, and a crystal vial that professor Sprout had given them. "Today we'll be plucking the leafs of harmless hag-plants—don't forget to wear gloves though, they do tend to bite."_

_All the students set to work, carefully plucking off the leafs and then depositing them in the crystal jars. But it actually was a lot harder then it seemed—_Harry watched as all the students struggled, the plants trying to gnaw viciously at their fingers_—most of the students didn't even succeed in getting one plant de-leafed. Suddenly his dad yelped—his plant had bitten him just above his Dragon-skin gloves. He glared at the plant, shaking his hand in distress, blood gusting out in a steady flow. Sirius hit the plant in its... well, face. Remus yelled at him not to, declaring it would only piss them off more, and the raven-head proved Remus' point by falling to the floor, in serious combat with the plant that had attacked his best friend._

_Professor Sprout beckoned James over to her, and he jumped over the body of his squirming friend, ducked when a guy swarmed his arm around, trying to get his plant off—it'd clawed his teeth in his robes—and jogged over to her, holding his hand. She sighed in distress, looking around. No one seemed to be doing a good job—even Remus, though that was only because he was trying to save Sirius' pity-ass live. Actually, the only one who was not running around like a fool, hiding from his plant or screaming for help, was Lucius Malfoy. He was petting his plant and carefully pulling out the leafs one by one. He was the only one smart enough to actually befriend the plant._

"_Mister Malfoy!" Professor Sprout got his attention and his cold blue eyes fixated on her. "Guide Mister Potter to the infirmary, if you please."_

_Lucius nodded, giving his plant a last pet and walking over to James, as they left the greenhouse together. Harry quickly went after them, and this time it took no time whatsoever for the image to restore itself—_Harry didn't even noticed, just followed them as they made their way to the castle.

"'_m sorry you had to come with me—you seemed to be enjoying yourself." James grinned sheepishly at the boy next to him, and Lucius stared at him._

"_Of course—because I just love plants and all that crap." His voice was sarcastic, and not much different from—_Draco's.

"_I don't think they're all that bad..." James doubted, trying to stop the blood with his sleeve._

"_Not that bad?" Lucius asked cynical. "The thing nearly bit you arm off," he gestured James' wound with his head. "And might I remind you that you're a Gryffindor?"_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" James paused, but Lucius went on, seemingly not knowing—or not caring—that his conversation partner had stopped._

"_You're a Gryffindor—only dumb-headed Huffelpuff's enjoy Herbology—they're that sort of people. If I were you I'd go back to being a DADA-lover, and soon." Lucius drawled out, glancing over once._

_James was carefully trying to get the bleeding to stop—it hurt and his sleeve was dirty. He frowned seeming as nothing worked, and then said: "you're right—I do like DADA the most, but not all Gryffindors do. Lilly prefers Charms, and though Remus is best in DADA, he likes Potions a lot," Lucius grinned, walking back to where James was, and he roughly took his arm. James stared at the blonde's face, but didn't comment. Instead he said: "if we're being so stereotype, I'm guessing you like Potions best?"_

_Lucius didn't say anything for a minute, getting out a white handkerchief, and he carefully wrapped it around the wound. James' eyes widened for some reason._

"_I like Potions, and I'm rather good at them too—but they're not my favourite," he continued walking again, ignoring James' stares. "I like Astronomy and Ancient Runes—if you tell anyone you die."_

_James blinked and jogged to catch up with him._

"_You have to be the most out-of-place Slytherin that I've ever known." The raven-head muttered in awe._

_Lucius laughed, but kept on walking, glancing over just once more._

"_Coming from a Gryffindor, I'll take it as a compliment." And James smiled—_Harry didn't get it. Lucius seemed not-too-bad. Then why did people always tell him James and Lucius hadn't gotten along well?

_Madame Pomfrey __was exactly the same as ever—bustling about and scolding at her patients. She told James to sit on the bed and not move—murmuring something about it being the first day of school, and James being a safety-hazard. It made Lucius laugh, as he waited with James._

"_Thank you." James muttered suddenly._

_Lucius was staring at the wall, and it appeared that he hadn't even heard James at all. Then he said: "No problem."_

"_Do you always make it a point to not watch the people who talk to you?" James asked—_Harry thought his father was doing quite the opposite. He was literally staring at Lucius. He didn't get why. The man wasn't that special.

_Lucius turned to the raven-head, quirking an eyebrow. But before he could reply James tilted his head, outstretched his good hand, and he was... _kissing Draco's father? Harry's mouth dropped.

_It didn't last long. None of the it-was-only-a-minute-but-seemed-to-take-ages. No. James put his lips to Lucius, realised what he was doing, and immediately pulled back, fiercely blushing._

"_Oh God," he panted, and slumped down, shoulders shaking. He stared at his hand, handkerchief red. "I'm so sorry—I... did not mean to do that."_

_Lucius' eyes were stern when they searched for James' under that mop of deep black hair of his—but his bangs were covering them._

"_Just make sure it doesn't happen again." He said coldly, and without another word, he left the room._

"_Fuck." James swore silently, still looking at his hand. He noticed there was still a spot untouched by the blood—clear and pure. It was almost obscene._

_And then... _Harry flopped down in the chair as soon as they came back into the endless room. His heart was thumping faster then ever—his father. Kissing a boy. Yes, he was only twelve but... and...

"You kissed Lucius Malfoy!" Harry said accusingly to the information-James—he was wearing the weird doctor vest again.

"Yes I did." He smiled.

"But... you get a kid!" Harry protested.

James kept on smiling. After a long minute, in which Harry kept on ranting in his head, cursing Sirius and Remus to death for not telling him, James said: "would you like to watch another chapter?"

Harry freaked out—his head was close to exploding from all the rage he was keeping inside—but he couldn't take it out on this James—not on his own dad... his father had died, many years ago. And well, he had only been twelve. But Sirius, and Remus. They hadn't even told him!

"I'd like to go back and kill the people I thought were my family!" Harry yelled.

"Okay sire, thank you for watching. I hope to see you next time!" And before Harry could do something like blast his smiling father to pieces, James disappeared and he was looking at Sirius and Remus, who were still just sitting there.

Sirius opened his mouth, but Harry sprung from the sofa, and yelled: "I've been living with you for two bloody years, and now you let me know my dad kissed Lucius Malfoy? What the hell is wrong with you! YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST TOLD ME MY DAD MADE OUT WITH AN OTHER GUY! JESUS!"

And with the necklace in his hand, he spurted up the stairs, slamming the door to his room.

"Well," Remus huffed. "That went well."

"You think he's anti-gay, or just anti-gay-dad?" Sirius asked, in shock.

Remus frowned, hitting Sirius on the head.

"Let's just go check on him." He said, and got up.

Sirius followed suit—he really hoped Harry was just anti-gay-dad. Otherwise their news might come hard on Harry. Not that he wanted Harry to hate his dad but... well, Sirius had to be honest. Harry could easily hate Remus and Sirius for the rest of his life. James was dead. You can't possible hate a dead guy.

He heaved a deep sigh, and grabbed Remus' hand before going up to talk to the angry and upset teenager that was Harry James Potter.

**AN: Jeezz. Another weird one... yeah, I know. Crazy4Moony's on crack. Review and I'll update!**


	2. Memory lane no Two

**Memory lane nr. Two**

**AN: the memories flip a lot—which means they're not shown in the correct order. Pay mind to that, before you complain to tell me how off I am!**

Harry stared at the necklace. The necklace stared back at him. This was preposterous. He was just sitting there—what was he afraid of? It was just one little kiss. His father had been twelve! People did things when they were twelve; even kiss other people that had the same sex! But he didn't trust it because of what Sirius had said—_the love of his life_—and every image had Lucius Malfoy in it. So it really couldn't be good. Not good at all.

But it's not because it wasn't good that Harry didn't want to know—he really did. Curiosity always took over with him. Even if it killed the cat. So he opened the necklace again.

The room hadn't changed. Only this time James was sitting on the floor too—looking up innocently at Harry, and this time Harry didn't feel as if he could see right through him. It was strange because James almost felt... _alive_.

"Hi," James said. "Welcome back."

"Could you just explain to me why you kissed Malfoy?" Harry asked straight to the point—nearly pleading his father, but James shook his head.

"I made this so _I_ shouldn't have to. It does that for me."

"Didn't you love Lilly Evans at all?" Harry frowned, tears forming in his eyes. He didn't know whether he should be sad or angry, or if maybe he was jumping to conclusions too fast.

"Oh, but I loved Lilly very much," James smiled, and it was a weird smile—sad but upright. "Just not in the way she loved me. Shall I play chapter two sir?"

Harry sighed deeply, and gave a clear nod.

"_I am dying!" James whined—to no one in particular, since no one was around. He was in the library, scowling at a potions book, wishing it was dead. Thoughts of how best to destroy it filled his head, though none of them seemed painful enough—never mind that it was a book and didn't feel pain. He bumped his head into the table, up and down and—_his father reminded Harry of Dobby, when he'd done something he wasn't allowed to do. _James grunted deeply and eventually slumped down._

"_You're not dying—you're just being melodramatic." A cold, refined voice said, and James tipped his head up. _Harry turned around—_Lucius._

"_Oh," James smiled, though his cheeks were faintly red. "'m sorry—I thought I was alone, so I figured I had the right to declare my death by books."_

"_Aha, murdered by literature," the blonde boy gracefully sat down on the side of the table, next to James' books—_Harry turned to the other side of the desk to get a better view of the two men._ "How fabulous of you."_

"_I hate potions—I want to murder them." James knightly declared, and Lucius chuckled._

"_You can't kill a subject Potter—it's quite inanimate," his pale fingers streaked over James' paper, turning to watch the title. "Why don't you ask your friend—the Lupin-boy, for help?"_

"_He's gone to his aunt," James explained—_Harry smiled. His father was still unaware of the fact that Remus was a werewolf._ "I'd ask Sirius—but I think he's of playing tongue-tonsil with Macie Bloom. Not to mention that he just made half of it up, so Slughorn would probably notice."_

"_You shouldn't have waited until the last minute to do the task." Lucius scolded, reading James' paper._

"_Yeah, yeah, I don't need a lecture—I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I shouldn't," James pouted but Lucius remained unaffected. "But I don't like potions, so I always postpone it—and well, here we are. Why are you here, anyways?"_

_Lucius crossed his legs, and moved around a bit._

"_I couldn't sleep," he said, with some restraint in his voice. "I thought maybe a walk would help—and then I heard someone proclaim that he was about to die, and I thought: 'why not help the poor sod out of his misery'?"_

_James' eyes lit up._

"_You're going to help me?" He said hopefully._

"_My plan was to hit the man on the head with a frying-pan," Lucius smirked. "To put him out of his misery éh," James slumped down sadly. "But since it's you—" there was a small pause, and Lucius waved his wand. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to help a fellow-student."_

_And he handed James a scroll of parchment, getting up._

"_It's a copy of my own essay," Lucius brushed off his robes, and started walking away. "You don't have to trust me if you don't want to. Goodnight."_

_And before James had time to blink, he had already left the library._ Harry was a little confused, but suddenly they were walking through a hallway together, so he couldn't really think about it too much.

_James ran through the hallway in distress—_Harry had trouble keeping up—_he was awfully late and McGonagall would surely murder him brutally. He didn't even remember why he was going to be late—Remus and Sirius had awoken him on time, and he... oh right. He made a left turn—Pomfrey had wanted to see him. Skitting to a halt in front of the door, _Harry saw his father breathe in deeply, and _knocked the door._

"_Come in." McGonagall's voice was cold as ice, and James pushed the door._

"'_m sorry I'm late professor," he apologised, hurrying over to his seat next to Sirius. "Madame Pomfrey wanted to talk to me."_

"_What about?" She sounded somewhat distrusting, even for McGonagall. _Harry walked through the room, pausing next to his father, as the man sat down.

"_This plant-thing attacked me yesterday," he held out his hand to show her the bandage around it. "She wanted to check it."_

_Still staring in distrust, she finally sighed, and said: "fine. Don't be late again, and ask a note next time."_

_The brunette nodded and took out his books. As soon as she began talking again, he focussed on the boy next to him, starting a conversation on a piece of parchment._

It was rather weird—because one minute Harry was trying to see what James was writing down, and then suddenly McGonagall sat down in her chair, and the bell rung. He frowned—time didn't usually pass that fast... why did it skip this part? He would've loved to see what his father was like in class, and if McGonagall scolded at him a lot. It didn't matter, but still. It wasn't until the classroom was completely deserted, apart from the professor, Malfoy and his own father, that Harry realised once more that this would be about Lucius—not about James and Sirius.

_James walked to Lucius' bench, as he tried stuffing a rather large book into his bag—it wouldn't budge._

"_Luc—Malfoy?" James approached the blonde—like an animal stalking his prey—and Lucius merely swished his hair over his shoulder in a gesture of superiority, and gave him a nod of acknowledgement. "I came to give you this back."_

_At this the blonde turned, and James held out the handkerchief—he'd given it a good scrub, and it was clean again. Now it was no longer obscene, just clear and white._

"_Ah," Lucius nodded, taking it—their fingers brushed briefly, and James shivered at the sensation_—Harry noticed this, and felt like yelling at his father. Though right now, he was too curious_. "Thank you, though I didn't per say need it back."_

"_Oh, I just..." James stuttered nervously—had he done something wrong? Was Lucius mad?_

"_I said thank you Potter," Lucius lifted an eloquent eyebrow, and took his book in his hand, swinging his bag around his shoulder. "No need to go on a ramble."_

_He left, giving the professor a polite nod. James didn't move for a second, then spurted after the boy._

"_Lucius, wait!" He called, but Lucius didn't stop, he just walked a bit slower._

_James quickly caught up with him, trying not to blush—he'd called Lucius Lucius. Which wasn't what he did. They called each other Potter, and Malfoy. It was an unspoken rule. They weren't friends. They weren't buds. They were people who... what were they, really? _Harry wondered the exact same thing.

"_Are you angry with me?" He asked, keeping up with Lucius' quick pace._

_The blonde didn't look at him—he always did that, ignoring James' eyes. And James hated it. He liked Lucius' eyes—he should be allowed to drown in them. And no, that wasn't gay of him!_

"_Would you care if I was?" The blonde asked with his usual sneer—_he sounds too much like Draco... or Draco sounds too much like him. Whatever.

Harry had trouble keeping up with their big steps. Lucius strode across hallways so fast, it was weird.

"_Of course I would," James frowned, as if it wasn't obvious. "I mean... we're..." he doubted. "What are we exactly?"_

"_Right now we're a blonde and a stalking brunette," Lucius glanced over once, a small smirk on his lips. "But we're more commonly known as the evil-minded Slytherin Lucius Malfoy, and the brave Gryffindor James Potter. Why? Do you suffer from brain-damage because of the plant-bite?" _

"_You know what I mean!" James replied hotly. "Stop walking. Now!"_

_Lucius paused in irritation, glaring at the slightly smaller boy._

"_Are you angry with me or not?" James questioned briskly, tapping his foot on the floor. No, that wasn't gay of him either!_

"_If I would be angry with you, you would know," Lucius hugged the book closer to his chest. "Now please tell me that's not the reason you made me stop walking, or I'm cursing your ass to the moon."_

"_Are we friends?"_

"_No."_

"_Then what are we?" James asked._

"_We're nothing. I'm me, you're you. The end," Lucius walked away, and then called over his shoulder: "go play with your friends Potter, and do us all a favour: stay away from anything alive and green. Yes, that means me too."_

_James stared after him in disbelief—_Harry felt slightly sorry for him. He was doing his best to be nice to the man, and he just broke him down like that. Malfoy's truly were evil.

"_Are you okay?" _Before Harry could think about it further, he was in a bathroom—Moaning Martle's bathroom, to be precise—and _James was knocking on one of the stalls._

"_Not you again!" Lucius voice rang from the other side, followed by a short sniff._

"_You're crying," James said in shock, ignoring the comment. "What's wrong?"_

_The door opened, and James backed away slightly. Lucius was glaring, cheeks a bit wet, but that was the only indication that's he'd been crying. For the rest, he looked the same as always_—Harry noted that the lucky bastard's eyes weren't even all puffy and red—like Harry's were when he'd cried.

"_You're stalking me, aren't you?" He sneered. "Stop it."_

"_I'm not stalking! I needed the loo and heard someone!" James protested. "I couldn't know it was you! Tell me why you were crying."_

_Lucius looked at him in distain, as if he were filthy. He picked up his bag, and headed for the door, saying: "I'm a Malfoy. Malfoys don't cry."_

_James stayed behind, dumbfounded. Then there was a flash, and suddenly the same James was walking through the hallway, talking to Sirius and Remus in a hushed voice._

"_I have a problem guys." He admitted—_Harry leaned closer, to make sure he wouldn't miss their conversation.

"_What is it?" Remus asked, looking up from his paper—apparently he was re-checking his homework, but _as Harry looked more closely, he saw Remus was correcting Sirius'.

"_I think I want to be Malfoy's friend."_

_Sirius chuckled, slapping his best friend's back._

"_That's not a problem," the boy grinned. "He's not that bad—I told you, it's his dad."_

"_Yeah, but that's not it," James lowered his gaze, fixing his glasses on his nose. "He thinks I'm a stalking freak or something."_

"_Are you?" Remus asked, and Sirius started laughing again._

"_Remus!" James whined in protest. "Be nice to me!" He pouted. "I'm being serious!"_

"_Just tell him you wanna be friends then," Remus rolled his eyes. "You're not stupid—how do you make friends? Be yourself, and if he's a prick tell him he's being a bitch and that you're just being nice."_

"_Yeah, Jamey, don't falter back just because he's a cruel bastard," Sirius wrapped an arm around James' shoulder. "It runs the family. Nothing to do about it."_

Harry laughed at this—they did have a point. Malfoys tended to be bastards.

"_I don't think he likes me." James sulked—_but why did he care? Harry didn't think Lucius was so special, and if he didn't want to talk to his father, why would he continue to try?

"_Au contraîre!" Sirius said, sticking out his free hand with a Knightly demeanour. "If he didn't like you, he'd have cursed you to death by now. Trust me."_

"_We're well into our first year—don't you think that if he would've liked me we would've gotten along by now?"_

"_Malfoy's are complicated that way." Sirius said with an old professor's voice._

_Remus chuckled and James shrugged, staring to the other side of the corridors, where the Slytherins were already waiting to start their potion's lesson._

Harry felt a bit weird. He was older than his dad—that was freaky too—not to mention that his father was a do-gooder. Since when was his father known for making bounds with the Slytherins? He stopped walking when the scene disappeared and an almost empty hallway appeared.

_James stumbled on, carrying about a dozen books—why did his bag need to fail? On the one night he'd decided to catch up on all his subjects, his bag broke during his trip back to the tower._ Harry saw Lucius Malfoy coming from the other side of the hallway, concentrating on a letter. They were going to collide if they kept at it like this, and before it happened Harry called for his dad to 'watch out!' forgetting that James couldn't hear him. And it was too late anyway.

"_Shit!" The books fell to the floor, both boys following shortly after._

_James uneasily stretched, a thick volume pocking his back. Lucius regained his composure quickly, getting up and dusting off his robes._

"_Why is it that every time I want to be alone you interfere?" He asked briskly, picking up one of the books._

_James glared, sitting up. He gathered the books, ignoring the blonde completely. Lucius tipped up an eyebrow, studying the title of the volume, before looking down at James again._

"_I see, I'm getting the silence-treatment," he mocked, James' cheeks burned red, and he got up, pushing past the man, head held down. "What did I do to deserve this?"_

"_Shut up!" James yelled, turning briefly. "If you don't have anything nice to say, just shut up!"_

"_But I have loads of nice things to say," Lucius chuckled. "Just not to you." He threw the book to James, who panicked—no way he could catch that one. It hit his stack that he was carrying, falling to the floor. Goddammit._

"_STUPID BASTARD!" James dropped his books, and flicked his wand before Lucius could even react. A silver rope appeared from the tip and dragged the blonde over to him. He used a silencing spell as well—he was obviously sick of the blonde's bad-mouthing._ Harry inwardly clapped his hands._ "I do my best to be nice to you all the time—but you don't even get that I'm fucking busting my ass off to be your friend! What the hell is wrong with you? Intimacy problems or—" he was cut off, cheeks still red, when the blonde said something—well, he moved his mouth to say something—bent forward, and connected their lips._

Harry gasped.

_So did James. He lowered his wand, and the rope disappeared—the spell undone._ By the blue glow that the wand emitted for a second, Harry knew the silencing spell was released too._ James' eyes were opened wide, and Lucius was staring at his wand—as soon as the blue glow faded, he pulled back._

"_You talk too much," he said, turning away. He picked up his letter—he'd forgotten it earlier. "Don't silence me again, because I'll make you pay."_

Harry was left in shock.

_So was James. _But the problem was that Harry immediately landed in a new scene, with no time to ponder it—he was in the flow, no way to stop now. _There was Lucius, going into a bathroom._ And he wanted to see more—if only he had time to think. _James, on the other side, had thought enough, and stalked into the bathroom after Lucius._

_He patiently waited for the blonde to emerge from the booth, and wash his hands. He was completely ignored, but James didn't care. When Lucius finally looked up in question, James put a hand on his hip._

"_You kissed me." James said._

_Lucius nodded._

"_I'm fifteen—" _Harry had forgotten: Lucius was two years James' senior. "_My hormones are going on a mental rampage—teenage ritual—someone dared me," he rolled his eyes. "What do you want to hear?"_

"_The truth." James frowned._

"_We're not a blonde and a stalker." Lucius dried his hands._

"_Friends?"_

"_Yes, I suppose we're friends." Lucius agreed, eyebrows raised in a delicate manner._

"_Do you kiss all of your friends?"_

"_Only those that take my ability to speak away and insist on going on a rambling rampage," he walked to the door, and James followed. "But don't worry about it—it won't happen again."_

"_Maybe..." James hesitated._ 'Maybe what?' Harry thought._ "Maybe I wouldn't mind."_

"_That's your problem Potter," he opened the door, giving James a last look. James tried to lock eyes, but he failed. "I'm sure Madame Pomfrey can find an ease to your puberty-problems. And even if she can't, you'll have to find someone else to pretend to be in love with—I don't like boys that way."_

"_And if I'm not pretending?" James asked—_Harry saw Lucius' sceptical look, and agreed with it. James was thirteen, he wouldn't know real love if it danced around in a fluorescent skirt and poked him with a sausage.

"_Then I suggest you go cry out your heart-break in your pillow," the blonde snapped and suddenly turned. James jumped back slightly in surprise. Lucius grasped James' shoulders, keeping him in place and James squirmed. "Because get this: I refuse to take part in any of your idiotic beliefs or biased ideas. If you think you mean anything to me, you're wrong. I will not risk my father's wrath simply because some ignorant thirteen-year-old wants to fool around under the bleachers."_

"_I don't want to fool around under the bleachers!" James protested, trying to get away from the painful grasp on his shoulders._

"_You're thirteen! You don't know what you want!" Lucius glared._

"_Oh, and you do?"_

"_I know what I don't want!"_

"_What's that?"_

"_You!"_

Harry jumped when a loud SNAP echoed through, and he suddenly started falling, landing on the couch in the white room. He looked around to see the information-James playing around with Wizard snaps. He noticed that he was panting slightly—the discussion his father and Malfoy had had was upsetting him.

James smiled at him, flopping down on the floor. Harry hadn't paid mind to it earlier—but the James looked thirteen, even though he'd been older before.

Before he could ask anything, Harry said: "I want to see the next part."

**AN: I don't know why I made Love dance around in a fluorescent skirt and poke people with sausages—it just felt like the right thing to do. Review if you want me to update.**


	3. Memory lane no Three

**Memory Lane ****no. Three**

**AN: I know James' birthday is the 27****th**** March—but I needed it to fit in the story, so I'm pretending his birthday is somewhere in the beginning of the year. Sorry for any complications this might've caused.**

_James had just started his second year in Hogwarts, and he already felt as if he was drowning—the workload wasn't excessive, the pressure not overwhelming. Lucius was._

_The blonde seemed to always be there. They still had Herbology together, even though Lucius was a class higher, and it drove James utterly insane. He knew he shouldn't want the man—he was fourteen, Lucius sixteen, and so out of reach. Not to mention the blonde seemed to be forced to follow a set of rules given by his father, and he wasn't about to break them. James hated Lucius' father, because to him, the man was the only thing standing between him and the love of his live. Even if Lucius said he was naive and had no clue as to what love was—he wanted Lucius. The end._

"_James?"_

_And even if wanting Lucius Malfoy was bad—he really didn't care. Lucius was beautiful and intriguing. He was a challenge! And a great one at that! James loved challenges, he would not back down until this one was overcome. Lucius had to be his._

"_James?"_

_He finally looked up in question—Lilly Evans was staring at him in distaste._

"_What?" He asked, snapping slightly. His eyes drifted to the other side of the great hall, where Lucius was reading a book and scooping up some eggs at the same time—he was so great! If James tried to do that he spilled all over the place._

"_You're sitting on my bag. I kinda need it," she frowned._

"_Oh, right," he looked down, "so I am," getting off he smiled apologetically. She was sweet enough, really. And Lucius wasn't giving him any attention so—"hey, maybe we should go out on a date."_

_She shrugged, gave Remus a wave, and left without even replying. James slunk down—was he really that unattractive? No one wanted him!_ Harry laughed aloud—apparently his dad was getting into Lilly-mode. This was good.

"_Hey, Lucius!"_ Or maybe he wasn't. Harry stopped laughing when_ James flopped down next to Lucius, who was doing homework in the library._

"_Aha, the bratty brunette returns," Lucius gave a nod, "I wondered when you'd go back to stalking me."_

"_Oh," James purred, "I missed you too darling!" At this Lucius looked at him in shock—an eyebrow tipped up into oblivion, "how was your summer?"_

"_Don't call me darling," Lucius frowned, putting his quill back to the parchment—_secretly Harry wanted to know what he was working on, but he pretended not to care and looked at his father instead,_ "it was good. Yours?"_

"_Amazing," James' face broke out into a grin, "hey, I think we should go out once."_

"_Didn't you ask that Evans-girl out?" Lucius looked up again. "She kicked you in the potions-hallway."_

"_Yeah, I figured you keep saying no so I should ask Lilly, she's nice. So, let's go out," James said happily._

"_I'm not going on a date with you," Lucius said sternly, "take Evans."_

"_But I wanna take you," James pouted._

"_No," Lucius continued writing, ignoring the silly pout on James' face, "now go bother her—she's saying no too, so there isn't much of a difference."_

"_Of course there is," James poked his foot to Lucius' side, and the man gave him an insulted glare, "I like you better."_

"_I don't want to go out with you."_

"_Yes you do," James insisted, "you're just pretending that you don't."_

"_Take the girl."_

"_I don't want to take the girl."_

"_You don't know what you want," Lucius leaned back in his chair, looking at James finally, "you don't have a crush on me. Go away."_

"_You're right," James nodded—_Harry's eyes started gleaming. He was right?_ "I don't have a crush on you. I'm in love with you. Let's go out."_

"_I'll keep on saying no."_

"_That's what Lilly said," James grinned again, and suddenly his eyes started gleaming too—_Harry's didn't glister anymore, he was back to sulking because his dad was asking Malfoy's dad out,_ "let's make a deal!" James proposed, and Lucius frowned again. "If I get Lilly to say yes, you go out with me."_

"_That makes no sense whatsoever and no—she's only one girl, she's bound to crack sooner or later," Lucius went back to his homework, seemingly uninterested again, "I'm not going out with you James."_

"_But I'm likeable," James sulked. Lucius nodded, proving he agreed, "I'm kinda cute and I'll be really nice to you if you want me to."_

"_I can't go out with you James, stop nagging about it," the blonde eventually gave up, and rolled up his papers, "if I date you—a Potter, regardless of your sex—my dad would brutally murder me. He's going to find me a fine lady to marry and there will be no such rubbish as liking a Potter," he got up giving James a nod, "so stop whining, because even if I would want to date you—which I don't—I wouldn't be able to."_

_James ignored the warning—he shouldn't have, because it would cause so much trouble later on. But he was fourteen and so impulsive. Instead he took Lucius' papers away, and muttered: "but you're not marrying a fine lady yet," and connected their lips._

Harry stomped his foot childishly—Merlindammit, why couldn't his dad stop kissing that stupid blonde!_ In no time Lucius had turned them around and pushed James into the desk—they parted and James gasped for air, his eyes rolling back when Lucius pushed his hips into James'. He kept their bodies connected and took his papers again. Whispering in James' ear: "you're driving me crazy, stop kissing me," he stepped back, straightened his robes and left the library._

"_Fuck," James touched his lips, still gasping for air and closed his eyes—_just like that, the scene changed.

"_No thanks!" James yelled, and turned the corner hastily. He bumped into Lucius Malfoy, who paused and looked at him in question._

"_Sorry," James looked around to see if he hadn't been followed, and pulled Lucius into an empty classroom with him, "these girls keep trying to give me my late-birthday-present—they all try to snog me."_

"_Late-birthday-present?" Lucius questioned, frowning at the room they were in for a second—apparently it was an old potions room._

"_It was my fourteenth birthday this weekend," James grinned leaning against the door, "those girls are really freaky."_

"_Aha," Lucius nodded in comprehension, "happy birthday then—can I go now?"_

"_No!" James squeaked, looking up at the blonde with big eyes. "If you leave now they might find me."_

"_It's just a kiss," Lucius rolled his eyes, "it can't be that bad."_

"_All the Gryffindor girls Lucius," James' eyes widened in shock at his lack of feeling, "and it's not just _one_ kiss! Fourteen! For my many years. I've never been so sad that I didn't get to turn three again."_

_Lucius chuckled and dropped down next to him._

"_You're famous with the ladies. Be happy."_

"_Pff," James sighed dramatically, then continued: "you know—you never gave me a birthday present," he wriggled his eyebrows in what he hoped was a sexy come-hither look._

"_I'm not going to," Lucius shrugged, pretending he didn't know what James was hinting at, "I don't even know when your birthday is—and I never give late birthday presents."_

"_It's the 19__th__ of September," James said, "so remember for next year."_

"_You're still going to be stalking me next year?" Lucius said, somewhat desperately._

"_Yeah. Be prepared," he yawned again, and tipped his head down on Lucius' shoulder._

_Lucius frowned—_Harry did too, glaring angrily at his dad. The wuss! Leaning on a man like that!

"_We're not cuddling. Get off."_

"_I'm tired," James protested._

"_Stop it James, this isn't fun anymore," Lucius debated pushing him off, but decided against it as the boy closed his eyes._

"_I'm enjoying it—you're really warm Lucius."_

"_James don't," he glanced down, but James appeared to be sleeping, "come on—get off, dammit."_

"_Just tell me you like me," James pleaded softly, cuddling closer—he knew Lucius felt the same way. He had to, otherwise he would've pushed James away ages ago. There had to be something—and James was lucky enough to have his boyish innocence as a trade—he could lurk Lucius into admitting it._

"_You want me to lie?"_

"_No. I want the truth," James opened his eyes again, and their gazes locked—he really loved Lucius' eyes. They were always so distant, shut away from the world, staring at it with a silver glow. But when he looked at James they were always bluer, softening up on him._

"_I hate you," Lucius got up, nearly making James fall down._

"_Wait," James scrambled to his feet—Lucius turned and stared coldly at him, "was that the truth?"_

"_No," Lucius pushed the door open, "it was the lie—go snog Evans and leave me alone."_

"_But you—" he was interrupted when a bunch of crazy girls squealed and called for him. In seconds Lucius was gone and he was being smothered by enraged Gryffindors._

Harry bit his lip slightly, crossing his arms in front of his chest—then he was in the dungeons and he attentively watched as_ Slughorn drank tea, regarding James in quiet. James nervously bit his lip—_as Harry was doing—_and shifted in the chair. He knew Slughorn wasn't going to yell or anything, but the man could be a bit scary when he just sat like that in silence, staring. He put his cup down, the china clattering against his platter, and folded his hands._

"_You're a menace, Mister Potter," he said with a smile, and _Harry saw his father's form slump down in relaxation,_ "we're going to have to fix this. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get you to make a good potion. Darn, I'd even do with an average potion. I'd do with _potion_. All you've managed to give me so far is some very impressive-looking, fluorescent smoke. Let's not forget the assortment of colours it comes in—quite inventive mister Potter, but it's not what you need to pass this class."_

"_I know Professor," James hung his head slightly, staring at his feet, "I really try... they just hate me."_

"_Now where did I hear that before?" A cold voice drawled from the doorway and James_ and Harry_ turned to see who was there._

"_Ah, Mister Malfoy!" Lucius smirked—he was still wearing his uniform, though his bookbag appeared to be missing._ Harry assumed he'd had his final classes for the day._ "Thank you for joining us. Mister Potter, what you need, is a tutor. Mister Malfoy will be perfect for this job."_

Harry particularly hated the way his dad's eyes actually lit up at that predicament.

"_So just stir three times, slowly," Lucius studied James' potion from the other side of the bench, pursing his lips, "that's not slow," he grabbed the raven's hand, slowing down his stirring-pace—they were in one of the spare rooms in the dungeons, having a Saturday-session, "this is slow."_

_James was doing pretty good so far: he hadn't blown anything up yet, which was an accomplishment on his behalf. It wouldn't be a perfect potion—it might not even be a decent potion, but it'd be a potion, and Slughorn would settle for it._

"_Say, Lucius?" James looked up at the blonde, as the older boy continued stirring with James' hand, focused on the potion._

"_Hmm?" he grunted to indicate that he was listening, but didn't avert his eyes from the cauldron._

"_I was wondering, are you gonna kiss me or what?"_

"_We've been over this. We're not dating," Lucius said, and he sat back. James stopped stirring, and bit his lip—looking intently at the blonde, though his eyes were still on the potion._

"_I love you and you don't hate me. Why won't you kiss me?"_

"_Because if I do, my dad'll kill me."_

"_You kissed me before," James objected._

"_If I fall in love with you," Lucius looked up at him—their eyes locked and James never wanted to stop being in that moment, he wanted to hold Lucius' gaze forever—folding his hands in front of him, "if I really fall for you—in the sticky I-never-want-to-let-you-go way, my dad will brutally murder me. He'll never let me be with you, and it'd make us unhappy."_

"_What if it's worth it?" James asked severally—because he was young, but not naive. And he knew even then, that no matter how brief what they had might be, it would _definitely_ be worth it._

"_How can it be worth it, if it makes you miserable?"_

"_If it's true love it'll make you miserable—and if it's true love it'll be worth it. If it's not, no harm done," James shrugged, "you say that I don't know what I want—well give me what I think I want. And if you really don't like me enough to kiss me, it's okay. I'll stop nagging, stop touching, stop stalking. Anything you want."_

_Lucius gave a deep sigh, but nodded—James grinned._

"_So you'll kiss me?"_

"_Oh no," Lucius shook his head, and the grin faded, "I'll stop trying to convince myself you're not likeable. No kissing."_

"_So, a date?"_

"_If my dad..." Lucius began._

"_Right, your dad. If we date he'll find out..." James bit his lip pensively, "oh, wait," his eyes lit up, "I have the perfect idea—your dad'll never know! I'll pick you up tonight at ten by the library."_

_Lucius cocked his eyebrow, then said: "fine. Now add the beetle-eyes and don't spill."_

_James blinked twice, then set back to work—although he kept smiling goofily the entire time. Which, _so Harry noticed _Lucius seemed to find quite endearing._

Suddenly Harry found himself standing next to a slightly shivering Lucius Malfoy—_whether from nerves or cold, he didn't know. He had agreed to go out on a date with James Potter, he should've been in his common room half-an-hour ago, and Filch could come by the library any minute now. This could not have been a good idea. He yelped when something invisible tugged at his sleeve and_ Harry giggled. Apparently his dad's great plan involved the invisibility cloak.

"_Shh," James' head popped out, and Lucius gasped, eyes widening, "it's okay. Come here—it's safe."_

_The slightly smaller brunette cautiously wrapped and arm around Lucius' shoulders—not wanting to freak him out—and forced him to duck, so he could put the cloak around the blonde. He checked their reflection in the glass of the library-doors, and pleased to see there was only emptiness staring back at them, turned to Lucius._

"_What now?" The blonde asked, voice a tad sarcastic. "Will we be spending time at the library? I don't think we really need an invisibility cloak for that."_

"_If I tell you where we're going it'll ruin the surprise," James took his hand, and smiled, walking towards a set of stairs as quietly as he could, "stay close to me, if we're caught the night'll be spoiled."_

Harry had a little trouble following them—needing to rely on whichever way the picture led him, since he couldn't actually see them walking. If he didn't follow correctly, the scene would suddenly change, and then he could hear them whispering again. He thought he was completely off when he found himself climbing up the astronomy-stairs—then his father and Malfoy re-emerged from under the cloak, and from James' grin he deduced that they'd arrived.

_Lucius stared up at the sky in awe—_and Harry had to admit, the view was incredible. They were on the highest roof—a place Harry'd never been before, and neither had Lucius, by the looks of it._ James walked over to the far end of the plain of the roof, where an old, small wooden stand was set, and pulled out a blanket from inside it. He unfolded it, so they could sit down—when Lucius continued to do nothing but stare, James coughed once._

"_Sit down," James patted the spot next to him, and Lucius turned to him._

"_Why are we here?" He asked—a bit harshly, and James frowned._

"_You said we could date if no one knew. And one of your favourite courses is Astronomy. So it seemed fitting to bring you to the roof."_

"_You..." Lucius paused, staring incuriously at the brunette, "how do you know that?"_

"_You told me back when we first met," James shrugged, and reached out for the blonde's hand, "now sit down."_

"_Why do you even remember that?" Lucius murmured, but sat down next to James nonetheless—the stars reflecting in his eyes as he looked back up at the dark sky._

"_I found it fascinating," James leaned back against the mushy roof, skimming his fingers lightly over the plane of Lucius' fist, bending one arm behind his head, "will you relax please," James smiled at the blonde—the older boy shot him a glance and then focused on the sky again, "no one ever comes here."_

"_You do," Lucius pointed out, squirming against the dark roofing tiles to make himself more comfortable._

"_I'm just weird in that way," James chuckled and his gaze lowered to Lucius' hand, staring at the contrast it made with his own—Lucius' was slender and pale, with long, graceful fingers, "I like your hands."_

"_Hmm?" _

"_Your hands," James repeated, and Lucius turned to him, "they're so soft."_

"_That has to be the weirdest compliment I've ever been given," but the blonde smiled nonetheless, "thanks."_

"_If I touch you, will that piss you off?" James questioned in a hushed voice suddenly—not long after the stars had stolen Lucius' attention away once more._

"_It depends on where you touch me Mister Potter," Lucius turned to James resolutely, his interest revived, and shifted somewhat to lean more comfortably on his side, "well?"_

_James lifted the pale hand, their fingers half-entwined, and brought it to his lips._

"_Can I touch you here?" His hot breath brought goosebumps to Lucius' hand, as his lips barely stroked over the soft skin at his palm—_Harry could quite visibly see Lucius exhale sharply.

"_You're way too sensual to be fourteen Mister Potter," despite the remark Lucius made no objections when James kissed up to his fingertip._

"_You should use that to your own benefits Mister Malfoy," James gave a dark, lonesome chuckle and nuzzled his cheek into Lucius' hand, kissing his wrist softly._

"_I'm not _that_ easy James," Lucius shook his head, and dropped his hand to the raven's shoulder, rubbing circles against his neck, "seriously—do you expect me to pounce on our first date?"_

"_So do I get to kiss you yet?" He locked their eyes—hoping his own were pleading enough—but once more the blonde shook his head._

"_Can I at least hold your hand?" James grumbled, and took said hand without waiting for the older boy's response._

"_Fine," Lucius turned back to the black sky, his thumb caressing the plane of the tanned hand, "but if someone finds us I'm saying you're afraid of the dark."_

"_It'd be worth it," James grinned and brought their hands up to kiss Lucius', before settling down again._

Harry noticed though, that although Lucius was stargazing, that definitely wasn't why his dad was there, because _James continued staring at Lucius instead of at the dark night sky._

"_Your wand," James said suddenly, breaking the silence once more, "it's made of rosewood, right?"_

_Lucius blinked twice, and looked at him in question—wondering if this was also one of the things he'd told James and then had forgotten about it._

"_Roses," James chuckled, "your hands smell like roses," Lucius raised their hand to get a whiff of his own scent—he did indeed smell like roses, the scent tainted on his fingertips like the one of cigarettes did with smokers, "I've never met anyone whose hands smell like roses."_

"_I've never met anyone that notices my hands smell like roses." _

_James smiled kindly, bringing their hands to rest in his lap. He stared at the blonde besides him, drowning in all of Lucius' features. Lucius watched James watch him with a sarcastically raised eyebrow, as if he didn't believe that James was really looking at him. The raven just tried to memorize the way the older boy's hair shone in the moonlight._

"_You're really very handsome Lucius," James eventually decided—taking in all of the blonde until he was sure he wouldn't forget the way his eyes sparkled, "tell me why you're a Slytherin."_

_At this Lucius laughed, entwining his fingers tighter with James'._

"_My favourite colour is green," he smirked, tucking his other hand behind his head as he turned his body to James' completely._

"_No seriously," James grinned, "sure you have the Slytherin-features but..."_

"_My favourite colour is really just green James," Lucius wiggled his eyebrows mysteriously and James lifted their hands—inhaling his scent again._

_Lucius rolled his eyes at the young boy's antics when James flattered his cheek against the pale hand. He tried to memorize the smell—not really solely the smell of roses—and kissed the pulse point on his wrist, inhaling sharply._

"_God, don't tell me you have a weird sniffing fetish," despite the comment Lucius didn't pull back his hand, "is this how you get your kicks?"_

"_It's just in case we're not redoing this," James shrugged, nipping at the first knuckle of the blonde's thumb, "so I can just memorize how nice you smell."_

"_Well aren't you a charmer," Lucius shrugged, drawing up his other hand to wipe some of James' hair out of his face—_Harry felt like tapping his foot, irritated, but if he just tried to not think about how this was his father, it was actually kind of sweet—_"are you trying to lure me into a second date?"_

"_I'll do whatever you want Lucius," James nodded, his voice getting a slightly begging tone, as he clamped onto Lucius' hand harder, their eyes connecting, "anything—just let me see you again."_

"_You shouldn't be so willing to give everything up James," Lucius frowned, "people might take advantage of that."_

"_But it's you. You won't," James blinked twice—their hands entwined and one of Lucius' resting on his cheek—it felt too good, "please will you go out with me again?"_

"_Why are you so insecure about this?" Lucius shrugged, his thumb caressing the boy's chin. "I'm not complaining."_

"_But..." Lucius cut him off by pressing a finger to his lips—the blonde shook his head, and James stilled instantly._

"_Just stop talking now," Lucius smiled—a real smile—and James gave a small nod. Then _the air seemed to fall apart and Harry landed in the wide couch of the white room.

James was sitting next to him, and he smiled—for the second time Harry felt as if maybe the man could really see him, and didn't just look right through. He was wearing a Hogwarts uniform, and looked exactly the same as when he'd been lying on the rooftop with Lucius Malfoy seconds before. Harry nervously shifted on the couch, wondering if he wanted to continue.

"Well sir?" James was obviously waiting for Harry to make a decision—he gnawed at his lip. Part of him was so curious... another part wanted to talk to Sirius and Remus.

"I... I think I'd like to stop watching now."

**AN: Review if you want more! (I know... cliffy much?)**


	4. Memory Lane no Four

_**Memory Lane no. Four**_

**AN: In book three, Pettigrew got arrested. U-hu. Also, Lucius is older than James, but I realised I let them have some classes together. So let's just pretend that it's completely normal that Lucius will graduate before James does, but that they still have some classes together... thanks, and I am sorry for that gruesome mistake T_T It's just that Lucius is bad at Herbology and has to take extra classes, u-hu. And well, James is fourteen in year two, though he should be twelve. I fucked up the ages at the start, for which I really apologise, but I don't plan on changing them. So just, forget everything you know about Harry Potter when it comes to ages and timelines, and go with it. One last bit before you can go off on your merry read, Lucius is one year above James, not multiple like he should be.**

**ALSO: James is young, but still a guy and a Marauder, so his hormones are running pretty rampage, keep it in mind.**

**AND: I **_**really**_** hate how I messed up their ages. Just please, forget something like 'age' eve exists, because it really bothers me. ARGH ! How do they say it ? Nail in my coffin ?**

When he appeared in his room again, Remus and Sirius were already waiting for him, seated across the room on his bed. They looked nervous but compassionate, almost guilty.

Harry sighed and sat down on his chair by the desk, watching them fidget for a minute, before saying: "I'm sorry I yelled."

Sirius sighed, biting his lips.

"It's alright Harry," he shook his head, and beckoned the boy to come sit with them. "We should have said something."

"We just thought that James would prefer telling you himself," Remus added, shifting so he could pull his lover's godson onto the bed, "that's what he would've wanted, though perhaps we should've…"

"…given you a heads up," Sirius agreed, kissing the top of the raven hair.

"It's just so…" he searched for words, clamping tightly onto the locket in his hand. "It's scary but intriguing and… it won't be what I expected it to be, it can't be… but it's honest."

"Harry, if you want to talk about this, we're here for you," Sirius smiled, pulling him into his side, "you know that, right?"

"I do, I…" a yawn interrupted him, and he blushed at not being able to stop it.

"You should get some sleep," Remus pushed his hair behind his ear, kissing his forehead. "The locket will still be here in the morning."

With a nod, Harry agreed, and he allowed the brunette to take the locket from his hands, bringing it around his neck to rest across his heart instead.

"Off to bed," Sirius pulled back the blankets for him, helping him crawl in under them—this was perhaps what he loved about them the most: even though he was starting his sixth year in Hogwarts soon, even though they had lived there together for three years, even though their house was the meeting place of the order of the phoenix and even though they were on the verge of war, they still cared after him as if he was a child.

And that felt so good.

He fell asleep soon enough, dreaming of his father and an all-too-familiar blonde.

When he woke up, he felt a strange warming sensation on his chest, and was immediately reminded of the necklace resting there. It emitted a soft glow, warming his bare skin. Turning around onto his side, he stared at it for a minute, casually studying the markings ornamenting the outside, before opening it.

He was greeted by a yawning James Potter, in pyjamas and all, and he could only assume that even though he was already up, it was still pretty early.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, knowing fully well that the James was just a memory, and therefore couldn't really have been awakened, "I would like to continue watching now."

James nodded, pulled up his pyjama trousers, and images began floating around them like the chapters of a movie. He selected an image of James in the prefect's bathroom but Harry didn't have too much time to inspect it though, because the room disappeared, James said: "have fun, this is a nice one!" and...

"_Would you like to have the second part of our date now?" young James Potter smiled at his companion, Lucius Malfoy, and the blonde turned in surprise._

"_There's a second part?" Lucius was mildly impressed at the effort James had seemingly put into this—he was certainly not the most eloquent person he'd ever met, but in a way it was endearing to see him struggle._

"_I'll admit it's mostly for my own satisfaction," James chuckled, "but I'm sure you'll like it all the same."_

_Lucius quirked an eyebrow, but made amends to get up nonetheless, sitting up straight. After James had folded the blanket, putting it back in its original hiding place, he led the blonde under the cloak once more._ This time it was easier for Harry to follow them—merely having to listen as they whispered in hushed conversation,_ James' chuckles mixing with Lucius' silky voice as they talked._

_They removed the cloak when they reached the statue of Tromos the Tree-huger, James retracting his wand to tap the side of the old massive thing twice. The sculpture moved aside to reveal the entrance to a hidden courtyard. A frown appeared on the blonde man's features when they stepped onto the grass, towards a small paved road. He could see a small light ahead, but couldn't see what it was, since it was too far away. Besides that, there were only the stars to assure they didn't trip on their journey to the mysterious light._

_James beckoned Lucius to follow him, a mischievous grin in place. The whole courtyard had an eerie silence about it, as the only sound breaking it was the rustling of the trees, and the soft click-clack of their shoes on the tiles._

_It took them several minutes to reach the source of light—_Harry was sure they'd been going for at least ten minutes—_and they walked in complete silence, close enough to be touching, yet James managed to refrain the urge._

_Soon it became clear where the light was coming from. There was a table set up, three candles illuminating its surroundings._

"_Dinner?" Lucius allowed James to take his hand, letting the younger guide him towards the paved courtyard. "You do know we had that earlier, James. You know, in that big room with all the plates?"_

_When they came closer to the table, it became clear that they weren't having dinner._

"_It's more like… dessert," James chuckled—the table was set with all sorts of sweets, chocolate cakes, brownies, liquorish, and much more._

_Lucius' eyes widened in surprise, and James smiled. He pulled one of the chairs back for the blonde, and even though Lucius seemed partly insulted that James was helping him sit as if he were a girl, he didn't comment. There were cups with thick chocolate milk and spoons for toffee-pudding—it was amazing how much effort James had put into their date._

"_How did you do this?" Lucius asked politely—even though he sounded awed, he managed to come off as composed._

"_I'm nice to the house-elves," James_ _served Lucius a slice of cake, the smile still in place, "it helps. Try this; they're really the best bakers."_

_Curiously, Lucius parted a piece off with his fork, taking a bite. He let the dough melt on his tongue and made a content purring noise—it made James' smile widen, and he blushed at the idea of what other sounds those rosy lips could make._

"_It's really nice," Lucius nodded in agreement, cautiously taking one of the caramel-filling chocolate balls._

_James nodded and drank some of the dark milk, eyes still on the blonde. Lucius didn't even notice he was being watched so intently—instead he regarded the scenery._

"_I've never been in this part of the castle," he admitted with a small quirk of the lips, much more relaxed than he'd ever been with another person. "Do you come here often?"_

"_Sometimes," the walls threw dark shadows on most part of the yard, and the candles reflected onto Lucius' pale skin, making it flicker from golden to milky white. "Barely anyone knows about this place, so it's nice if you want to be alone."_

_Before Lucius had a chance to retaliate, a rumble shook the trees and lightning cracked in the sky—the two teens looked up in shock, _Harry following suit_—the sky had been clear before, but now dark clouds were gathering. Within the minute rain came crashing down and James sprang to his feet—he grabbed a pale hand in his own and started running into the general direction of the castle. Soon the grass became mushy and the tiles slippery, so James nearly tripped and fell a few times—Lucius barely keeping him up—the blonde ever-gracious, so he didn't almost-fall even once. The clatter of the rain was deafening, combined with the thunder, even more so, and whenever lightning struck it was as if the whole courtyard burned in bright white light._

_When they finally reached the castle, their clothes were soaking wet—James' hair sticking to his face at odd angles—and their shoes squeaked against the marble tiles of the hallway._

_James leaned on his knees heavily, panting from the rush of adrenaline. He stared at Lucius—unable to speak just yet—whose breathing was much less hard, and who didn't even seemed dazed by what had just happened. Instead the majestic boy brushed his hair over his shoulder, small droplets running down the side of his face. He was as composed as he'd always been, though now, James noticed, covered in wetness with a faint blush on his cheeks, even sexier._

"_I'm so sorry," James managed to pant eventually, trying to catch his breath. "I'm such a fucking moron—didn't even think to check the forecast—I completely fucked up, and I'm really sorry, please, I didn't—"_

_He was interrupted abruptly when Lucius pushed a finger to his lips, shushing him._

"_James, stop talking," the blonde ordered, his hair shimmering in the light, every shade from ashen silver to golden blonde._

"_Bu—" this time, when Lucius stopped him, he used his lips._

_It was the smallest, but sweetest kiss James had ever received until that moment. Lucius' lips were damp and soft against his own, putting faint pressure and leaving him with a deliciously hazy taste in his mouth. The problem was that Lucius barely gave him any time to enjoy it, pulling back before James could even dare to venture his tongue out._

_Lucius stepped back, taking his distance, and gave a small bow of his head._

"_Thank you," he said simply, leaving James alone and dazed and_...—and just like that the view changed. Instead of standing in Tromos the Three-huger's hallway, Harry was suddenly in a whole different part of the castle. As soon as he focused enough, he noticed _they were close to the tower. His dad and Sirius were sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall with their heads stuck together as if they were discussing a secret, deep in conversation._

"_You should just go for it Jamey," Sirius poked James' foot, grinning. "If he's being a bitch without reason, you should just force him to talk to you. He doesn't have the right to just stop being your friend like that."_

And Harry couldn't help but wonder: does Sirius know yet?

"_I know, right? He's such a bastard," James pouted, "I did nothing wrong. I should just corner him and demand he talks to me."_

"_Oh yes, but then you have to make sure he can't get away!" they both got quiet, seemingly deep in thought._

_Suddenly Sirius' face lit up, and he bumped James' shoulder, demanding his attention._

"_I know what you should do! You know the prefect's bathroom on the…" he continued in a whisper—_Harry watched as _James' eyes widened and he started smirking, his grin matching Sirius' perfectly. _Then, shifting smoothly, he was in a bathroom and _Sirius was gone._

_James unbuttoned his shirt, his hands shaking slightly as he did so, working his way down._ It wasn't really cold, Harry noted, but it could just as well be nerves._ He folded them over the side of a chair, his chest coming up in goosebumps. After that his slacks followed, and then he was naked—_Harry didn't even avert his eyes, too curious as to what his father was up to—_and he went over to the pool-sized bath, sliding into the warm water with ease. He allowed himself to relax, leaning back with his elbows still on the white tiles, closing his eyes. Part of him was nervous—because here he was naked and waiting—there were so many things that could go wrong with this plan, he didn't even know where to begin. Being tempting and seductive suddenly didn't seem easy any more, now that he no longer had his clothes on._

_James' eyes shot open in shock as he started to think things through—what if Lucius didn't even like guys in that way? What if his naked body would scare the other man? What if the blonde refused to speak and left, never to return again?_

_All his doubts disappeared and were replaced with utter dread when suddenly there was a noise and Lucius entered the bathroom. He was dressed in a silver robe, a towel draped across his arm and his hair tied back with a white ribbon. The blonde was carrying a small book, his eyes fixed on the print as he walked over to the chairs at the side of the room—where James had disposed his clothes earlier—knowing where to go on instinct._

_James held his breath as he watched the older man kick his slippers off, setting the book down. His eyes caught the clothing on one of the other chairs and he stilled—straightening his back as if suddenly realising he was in grave danger. Slowly, he turned, and when his eyes locked with James', he scowled._

"_How did you get in here?" he crossed his arms defiantly, and James chuckled._

"_Sirius gets the passwords from one of the Head girls," he paddled across to the other side of the tub—suddenly feeling utterly relaxed and safe under Lucius' cautious gaze—so he could see the other more clearly. He was still as beautiful as ever, and for a whole second James could feel his heart break at the thought that he did not return his feelings. "He thought I needed a break and said I should come here. So, I've noticed we haven't been talking," he cut right to the point, and Lucius' scowl turned into a frown. "Care to explain?"_

_Lucius walked over to the shallow end of the pool—James' eyes following him all the way—and then smirked at the raven._

"_Do I need a reason?" he questioned, his voice teasing._

_James was about to retort when the blonde undid the ties of his robe, sliding the soft fabric down his shoulders until it fell to the floor with a soft thud—and _Harry knew he shouldn't watch but he couldn't help it_—James' eyes drowned in the sight in front of him, but before he could take in all of the naked blonde's features, Lucius sat down, letting his legs fall into the water. His thighs fletched, and James just wanted to run his hands all over them—strong and lean and shinning in the dim light._

_He shifted a bit uncomfortably, ignoring James' staring eyes, and pulled the ribbon from his hair, setting it back on his robe. Then he returned his gaze to James, combing his fingers through his hair and bringing it back over his shoulder to his chest._

"_Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to stare James?" he tried to lock eyes, but James' were firmly fixed on Lucius' abs._

"_I don't care," finally he looked up as well. "I don't understand," he continued, paddling to the other side again, lengthening the distance between them—though his eyes stayed linked with Lucius'—knowing that if he stayed too close his speech would be affected by the blonde's beauty, "you thank me and run off, and then when I try talking to you the next day you ignore me. Did I miss something or are you just a very indecisive person?"_

"_I needed some time to think," Lucius said plainly, as if that explained everything. "This might be easy for you, but for me it's not that simple."_

_James frowned at that, and swam to the blonde man's side—Lucius' fingers were still working small knots out of his hair—the Slytherin pausing at the sudden proximity._

"_I never said loving you was easy," James murmured, and he lay his head down on his arms, the cool tiles gentle against his warm skin._

"_It must be for you," Lucius snarled—but he didn't mean to, and when James' eyes flickered with hurt, he regretted it—so he sighed and extended a hand, brushing a lock of the damp, pitch-black hair, behind the boy's ear, "if you can so easily say it is indeed love you feel for me."_

"_But..." James bit his lip, and cautiously lifted a hand from the water—it was shaking as he placed it on the pale knee, but when Lucius didn't pull away, he relaxed somewhat, "there's no doubt that I love you. The hard part is getting you to realise that I mean it—the hard part is not knowing how you feel."_

"_I'm not a very affectionate person that way James," Lucius' hand strayed on the boy's naked shoulder, and James closed his eyes for a second._

"_Why did you thank me?" he then asked—for it had been plaguing him for a while now, why the blonde would thank him and then run off like that._

"_I think it's only proper to thank someone after they've given you a wonderful evening," the words send a smile to James' lips and his face lit up. "Are you done questioning me now?"_

"_It depends: are you still going to ignore me?"_

"_Are you still going to stalk me into the bathroom?"_

"_I was here first," James pointed out—then he laughed. "I think I might."_

"_Then I think ignoring you will be very hard," he entwined his hand with the one of James that was still on his bare knee, and carefully glided into the water—grasping onto the side of the bathtub tightly, as if afraid of drowning, "I don't know why I came here—I hate this tub."_

"_Why?" James was honestly surprised, and he grinned. "It's so cool!"_

"_It's too damn big," the blonde released James' hand, and warily moved closer to the stone staircase, where he eventually sat down, the water just reaching below his nipples. "It doesn't seem bath-like at all."_

_The raven chuckled, and swam to the far end, where the silver cranes stood—_Harry remembered playing with those when he was in his fourth year, and he watched his dad do the exact same thing_—he turned one of the knobs and pink shiny bubbles emerged, skimming over the surface, all the way to where Lucius sat. James grinned when he saw the always-stoic man poke one of the pink orbs, the soap popping apart. He tried another crane and white foam emerged, so he quickly turned it off, turning the pink bubbles on again. Then he returned to Lucius' side—he bit his lip when the man began washing himself, his teenage hormones jumping to attention at the sight. It had been hard to control himself before, when he'd first been exposed to the bare body of the blonde God—but now even more so, the distance so much smaller._

_And when Lucius' hands flit over his chest, cleaning invisible grime away, his fingers unconsciously brushing over the pink pecks, James had to bite his lip until it bled to repress the moan that ripped from his throat. Lucius knit his brows at the strangled noise that emerged instead, and James' cheeks turned a deep red._

"_What are you doing?" Lucius grabbed James' upper arm and the boy shivered under the touch. Lucius—not knowing or caring about the effect he had on the boy—pulled him between his legs, brushing their lips together softly. "Did you hurt yourself?"_

"_No, I..." he forgot himself for a moment, as he nuzzled the other's cheek and lent forward slightly, before realising that he was hard and aching and now Lucius could probably feel it as well because he was right..._

"_James," the boy groaned at the stern tone, afraid to look Lucius in the eye, "I'm not having sex with you."_

Harry frowned when he heard the bluntly stated words, wondering what had happened—before he too realised what was going on.

"Oh," he blinked twice, and moved closer to the pair. Perhaps he'd imagined it all, because honestly, if his dad was really... well, it'd be a quite embarrassing situation.

"_I'm sor—" James started, but Lucius took his chin between his fingers and lifted his head to kiss him again._

"_You shouldn't be," he said matter-of-factly, and he looked down pointedly at the raven's waist. "It happens."_

_James blushed brighter at the look Lucius was giving him, and tried to free himself from the strong arms—he was really embarrassed and wanted nothing more than a cold shower right now. Instead Lucius clacked his tongue._

"_Did I say you could to leave?"_

"_But, you..." he panted when Lucius easily lifted him—the water helping with the task at hand—into his lap, and started nuzzling his neck._

"_Don't be ashamed," he muttered softly, and_ Harry could see James' chest heaving,_ the boy gasping for breath, "I just said we're not having sex."_

_James let out a huffy squeak—he was deliciously pressed against a very naked, very gorgeous body, and teeth were nibbling at his chin, what more could he want?—and wrapped his arms tightly around Lucius' back. He swallowed thickly, and his figure shook, little beads of sweat forming on his forehead._

"_Now listen to me," Lucius dragged the tip of his nose from the tanned shoulder all the way up to James' ear, and the younger boy moaned hoarsely. "When you go back to the tower tonight, up in your bed, and take care of your little problem," he pressed a kiss to James' temple, and chuckled at the shudder that racked his frame, "I want there to be only one person in your head," he levelled his head with James', and their eyes locked, the raven's hazy with lust, Lucius' shimmering silver. They shared a hot, open-mouthed kiss, and Lucius finished talking against James' parted lips: "and that person better be me."_

_James' hips twitched at the words, and he was sure he was about to come right there and then—when suddenly Lucius grabbed his waist and lifted him off his lap. He managed to suppress the whine that threatened to escape him, at least saving that bit of his pride. Lucius kissed his cheek—lingering just a second too long—and stood, heaving all of his gorgeous body out of the water._

"_I have to go," he said, as if James wasn't there, all hot and bothered, "I still have homework to do."_

"_Lucius—" James didn't know what to say, so instead he waded back to the deep end, blush still evident._

"_It's not meant as rejection James," Lucius took his robe, sliding into it languidly. "I came to get cleaned and I did. Now, I have to go."_

_He gave James a smile, picking up his book, and before the other boy could stop him, left the bathroom._

Just like that, the scene disappeared and Harry was in the white room—James was wearing a scarlet robe and had a small grin on his face, leaning onto the armrest of the sofa Harry was on.

"So?" his father asked.

Harry blushed a deep red at the thought of what he'd just seen—for some reason it was starting to bother him less and less, the whole idea of his father with some other man. As he watched their relationship unfold, it somehow made sense. It made him feel oddly... safe.

"More please," he huffed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

All James did was flash him another grin.

**AN: As you've probably realised, Harry's life in this story isn't of much importance. It does exist though, so every now and then he'll be interrupted because he needs to eat—he'll even go to Hogwarts throughout this story, though the main focus goes to James and Lucius. And when their story is completed, Harry's stops, at least in this story.**

**Gosh. I love this story like you don't know... so much. I'm halfway through six, and I just wished I never had to stop writing and I could just always continue, because I love this so much. It's my baby, despite the stupid messed up ages and all the errors and what-not. I love it so much it hurts.**


	5. Memory Lane no Five

_**Memory Lane no. Five**_

**AN: before we commence with lovely number five, I want you all to stop for a second and realise that you are some lucky bitches. **_**Really**_**. This story is pretty long, and one of the stories I decided to update **_**before**_** the exams. Yeah, that's how I roll. LET ME FEEL THE LOVE. No shit though, I'm sick of apologising for all the age-errors, and I've decided to just say fuck you to that. Content-wise, this story is too fucking brilliant, to me, to stumble over those darn ages. So yeah...**

**WARNING: there is a fight. Because let's face it, this is James, he was bound to fuck up sooner or later.**

Harry arrived in the middle of a hallway—he recognised it vaguely, as they were close to the library—where _James was trying to give his look that little bit extra charm. Since day one, he had never doubted his looks—girls swooned when he passed by, really, he knew he was stunning—but as he watched his reflection in one of the windows, he suddenly felt as if somehow, he fell short. Lucius was by far the most beautiful man he had ever seen, and the idea that he would look not-good enough for him, caused James' gut to churn. He wanted to look his absolute best._

_The hallway was pretty crowded, and James had to try straightening his hair without blocking the way for passing students, with his only decent mirror being the window. He fixed his shirt, undoing his tie to try and look a bit more casual as well as sexy and mysterious._

_James had a plan, and it would not fail. He would look his best and seduce the blonde into kissing him because it had been far too long since he had last seen him. Two days without seeing Lucius properly, and he was ready to put his pants on fire and leave for the insane asylum. It was madness._

_He was fairly certain that Lucius was doing his homework, by himself, in the library—he had seen Severus and Regulus on their way to the great hall—and his master-plan of seduction was to accidentally walk by and start a conversation that way. He gave a last tug at his hair, knowing that fussing about it any longer would only cause it to tangle further._

Harry wasn't exactly sure why his dad was trying so hard to look good, but he had a hunch so when James moved towards the library, he followed._ James was greeted by a couple of girls who were just leaving, giggling as he passed them. The appreciative glances he was given caused a boost of confidence, _Harry noticed how his shoulders squared, and his grin became even more mischievous,_ and he began his search for the blonde with a positive attitude, sure his plan would work._

_He could navigate his way easily through the endless rows with book—having a friend like Remus did pay off—halting when he suddenly heard Lucius' voice._

_Anxiously, he turned a corner, and he arrived in a small study-area, where a single table stood, surrounded by bookracks. Lucius was seated at the table, quill in the ink pot with some books stacked next to him – he was indeed doing homework, though not quite by himself as James had thought._

_A rather big-busted blonde was seated on the table next to his papers – she wasn't even wearing the complete Hogwarts uniform, her white t-shirt replaced by a dark green tight tank top – the white lace of her bra showing. Her legs were crossed but she had hitched up her skirt to show off her thighs, flirtatiously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear._

_Lucius chuckled at something she said, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. She pouted – James glared, hiding behind a rack of books._

"_Are you sure you don't want to?" she touched his shoulder, locking their eyes, "It would be nice."_

"_I'm sure," Lucius nodded, "I still have homework to finish."_

"_Fine," she gave a sigh, hopping off the table – she gave him a last look, but Lucius was already focusing on his parchment again, "but it won't be any fun without you!"_

_He gave a little grunt and the girl nearly walked into James, as she left the study-area. She sneered at him but he ignored her, leaning against one of the racks to look at Lucius instead._

"_James," Lucius smiled when he noticed the raven standing there, "what are you doing here?"_

"_I..." he felt rage bubbling up his throat at the idea of the girl touching Lucius like that, but he tried to camouflage his anger, "I was looking for a book – Remus told me to go left at the third bookrack and then turn another left, but I guess I turned right instead."_

"_Would you like me to help you find it?" Lucius asked, making amends to get up._

"_No thanks," James tried smiling, turning around, "I'm leaving."_

_He had barely gotten to the main part of the library – ignoring a pack of girls winking at him – when someone grabbed his arm._

"_Sod off!" he threw a glare over his shoulder, paying no attention to his surroundings – he couldn't stop thinking of Lucius and the girl and nakedness._

"_James?" he paused abruptly when he recognised the voice, "What's wrong?"_

_He turned around – Lucius was frowning, obviously confused by James' behaviour. James glared, reverting his eyes, to stare at the ground._

"_You must be real busy if you let such a looker walk," he crossed his arms childishly, glaring sideways at the blonde girl as she left the library._

"_What?" Lucius let go of the raven's arm, setting his hands on his hips, "I sent her away, so what's the problem?"_

"_She was all over you," James hissed, trying to make sure no one heard him – the girls in the corner still batting their lashes at him, "and she made you laugh!"_

_He made it sound as if laughing was something really bad and should be banned for life – _never mind the fact that my dad apparently loves hearing mister Malfoy laugh, Harry thought.

"_Yes, well, hopeless and trashy do tend to make me laugh," Lucius sneered, frown still in place, then, he mocked: "does that make me a bad person?"_

"_Don't go smart on me," James still glared, even though now, he was more sombre than angry, "she touched you!" he said desperately, "If I would touch you in public, you'd pull back!"_

"_How would you know?" Lucius questioned sternly, "You've never tried, have you?"_

_James' eyes widened, and their eyes met – he tried to see if the blonde was really serious, or just playing. When he saw only complete honesty, he reached out to cup Lucius' upper arm._

_It was as if an electric spark shook up his spine, the mere idea of Lucius' skin touching his, separated by only a single layer of cloth. Lucius seemed to be measuring him, giving him the most piercing look James had ever gotten._

"_Come with me," James' hand slipped from the blonde's shoulder to his wrist, leading him back to Lucius' study-area._

_Before the blonde could question James' motives, the smaller boy had pushed Lucius into the bookracks urgently, and pulled the rosy mouth to his own._

_And they kissed._

_James let his hand slide up to Lucius' neck, cupping his cheek tenderly. Lucius' eyes had gone wide in surprise, but _Harry watched them flutter shut when his dad stood on tiptoes and meshed their bodies completely together.

_It seemed like hours before Lucius finally pushed at James' chest, separating, with their lips inches apart. They both panted softly, James' breath against Lucius' cheeks, warming him. Their bodies were hot under layers of clothes, restricted but burning up—and in a really stupid way, it made James want to laugh aloud._

_Everything Lucius had ever told him seemed to play back in his head, his mind clouding with Lucius, Lucius, LuciusLuciusLucius. It seemed so trivial now, that Lucius' father would never approve and that James would probably never be able to publically kiss the blonde._

_Suddenly it didn't matter that he was still so young, and that he wasn't supposed to know what he wanted—everything just faded into the background, and no colours or houses or biased believes or the subconscious of wrong and right and any subcontext could change this one undeniable fact._

_He had fallen for Lucius Malfoy. He'd fallen hard and fast, and from the very first time he had laid eyes on him, he had been sure._

_No one else could ever make him feel like he did in that moment._

_The certainty that this was now one of the things he wanted so bad, right there within his reach—the sense of freedom—it was something only Lucius could give him. Only Lucius could make him feel so fulfilled._

_They were completely silent for a minute, and then they moved smoothly together, James leaning back up as Lucius' hand slid to rest on his lower back, and just like that they began kissing again. James' hand cupped Lucius' neck and he had to stand on his toes slightly, but it was worth it to taste the blonde's mouth again. Each time they parted, they reconnected again almost immediately, brushing their lips together before pushing them tighter to one another's._

_And like that, the image resolved. The scene ran into one of the Hogwarts courtyards, James, Sirius and Remus seated on one of the stone benches. Remus was working on an essay, with Sirius trying to get the brunette's attention. James pretended to study, instead absentmindedly glancing at the other side of the courtyard._

_Lucius and Severus were sitting across from the Gryffindors, in deep conversation, with the blonde girl from the library next to the older boy. She was quite obviously making James jealous, _Harry noticed_, and Sirius too seemed to remark the change in James' behaviour. When he noticed the boy was not studying at all—not even ranting about Quidditch or complaining about lessons—he followed the raven's pointed stare, and smirked when he saw Lucius._

"_So, mate," Sirius poked his friend with the devious smile still in place—he was worried, but he decided to first find out if his worry was justified before going into full best-friend mode, "you and Lucius still on a no-talking basis?"_

_When Sirius got no reply from his friend, besides a little squirm at the poke, he snapped his fingers sharply in front of James' face. As if awakening from a hypnotic trance, James blinked dumbly and turned his wide eyes on Sirius instead. Remus looked up in question, and James frowned._

"_Wha?" he asked confused, barely making proper words._

_Sirius chuckled, shaking his head at his friend's stupidity._

"_You and Lucius talkin'?" Sirius managed through his laughter._

"_Yeah," James nodded avidly, "yeah, sure. I mean, yeah we talk... we talked yesterday, and I mean, sure we talk and—"_

_Before he could repeat the same thing a fourth time, Sirius cut him off._

"_So why don't you go talk with him now?" Sirius urged, giving his back a shove._

_James stumbled to his feet, the heavy Potions book falling from his lap. Remus rolled his eyes and picked it up, while James looked nervously from Sirius to Lucius. Sirius gave him an encouraging nod, before giving his back another shove, sending him into the Slytherins' general direction._

_Instantly, James felt his palms getting sweaty, the idea of talking to the blonde suddenly too much to bear. He couldn't get their make-out session out of his head, and the only coherent thought had been the one of being deprived of the other boy's lips for so long. He couldn't help it if Lucius was so addictive. All he wanted to do was sit with the blonde and watch him all day long, he was too good to resist._

_He wiped his hands on his jeans, running one through his hair. A girl passed and gave him a wink, so he decided that if he was good enough for some random girl, it would just have to do. He made his way over to the stone bench where Lucius was seated, and swallowed thickly._

_James was tall enough to block out the sun, and Lucius looked up when a shadow was thrown over him suddenly. A smile appeared in the corner of his mouth when he saw James, but still he waited for the raven to begin speaking._

"_Uhm... hi?" James tried keeping his voice steady, and was reassured when he spoke loud enough to attract both Severus' and the blonde girl's attention._

"_Hello," Lucius replied, a playful hint to his tone which caused James to blush._

"_I was just..." he stopped when he realised he didn't know how to finish that sentence, "How are you?"_

"_I'm fine, thank you," Lucius voice was smooth as ever, and James just wanted to take his head in his hands and kiss his face all over, "and you?"_

"_Yeah, me too..." he coughed, shifting on his feet, "So..."_

"_What do you want Potter!" Severus snapped suddenly, as if he had had enough of James' presence._

_James glared, embarrassed that he was too weak to even scare the other Slytherin off, but before he could reply angrily, Lucius did so in his stead._

"_Severus, please, we're trying to have a conversation," he fixed his friend with a stern scowl, "if it bothers you so much, we'll leave."_

_He stood, neatly laying his book down to keep his spot. The girl took a grab of his wrist, and James inwardly fumed._

"_Lucius, don't go," she whined._

"_Shove off," he replied crudely—James' eyes widening at the tone—as he gestured the Gryffindor to walk with him._

"_How is your studying going?" Lucius asked politely, as soon as they had reached a rather deserted spot near the fountains. Students were still walking criss-cross around the courtyard to get to their lessons, but they were far enough for people not to hear what they were discussing._

"_My studying?" James frowned—_Harry chuckled at his father's complete loss of words, knowing that it was caused solely by Lucius' presence. The idea that his father couldn't even remember that he had been supposedly studying was too funny not to laugh.

"_I saw you with your friends," Lucius waved it off, "I take it you hadn't been all too focused?"_

"_Not really," James shrugged, "it was stupid, I couldn't stop staring at you."_

_Some of his usually proud demeanour returned, and this time he didn't even blush. Lucius' lips curled up into a smile._

"_I'm flattered," he said softly, folding his hands behind his back, "thank you."_

"_I was wondering... isn't it a Hogsmeade weekend?" James changed the subject, afraid he would start blushing anyway if Lucius continued to use that affectionate voice on him._

"_Yes," and James groaned inwardly, because his natural silky tone was even nicer to hear, "you can't go though, you're a second year?"_

_It was a statement formulated as a question formulated as a statement. It made James' head spin._

"_I could go," he said with a shrug. When he received a questioning glance, he grinned, "we're making this map you see, and we've found a tunnel that leads all the way out of Hogwarts. We're not completely sure yet, to where it leads, but we're guessing somewhere in Hogsmeade."_

"_I wouldn't want you to get into trouble because of me," Lucius smirked, "you get enough of that anyway. If you insist, I can stay."_

"_Oh no, I don't want you to not-go," James shook his head in protest, "I was just hoping we could see each other again. Soon."_

"_We're seeing each other now, aren't we?" his tone was mocking, causing James to pout—_how dare he! He was supposed to be a man!

...but then again, it was rather sweet to watch.

"_In private. I want to hold your hand. Or touch your hair," he groaned softly, "either. Both. You should wear it loose more often," he indicated the blonde locks, tied back in a pony tail, "I like it when your hair is loose."_

"_I shouldn't be so easy about this," Lucius sighed, seating himself on the edge of the fountain, pensively regarding the smaller boy, "you don't love me you know. It's just infatuation."_

_To James, it was as if Lucius' eyes could see right into his soul, leaving his core barren. But James also knew he was mistaken, and he would do whatever he could to prove the man wrong._

"_I thought we had agreed you'd give me a shot?" he felt a sudden coldness enter his being and swallowed thickly again._

"_We did," Lucius agreed, "you're too kind to me. I am still an evil-minded Slytherin."_

"_And I love you for it," James pretended he didn't see the doubt in Lucius' eyes, and said sternly: "I need to kiss you again. Touch your hair. Anything."_

"_You're too impatient," when Lucius chuckled, James sighed in relief, glad he had changed the blonde's mind._

Harry found it peculiar how easily Lucius could go from stone-cold to heart-warming, but than again, all Malfoys knew how to work the charm.

"_I can be patient," James said petulantly, "I just don't want to be."_

_Lucius laughed again, shaking his head in disapproval. Still, he was obviously amused, and ran a hand through the water, which made James smile. He remembered the smell of the blonde's fingertips, and wished to have it stained against his lips._

"_If you want to prove to me that you love me, you'll have to be," his voice returned to strict again, authority ringing through, and _Harry was once more shocked at how easily his behaviour changed, _"have I mentioned I will not risk my father's wrath for a crush?"_

"_I believe you also mentioned giving me a go," James said with a dangerously vulnerable tremor in his voice, "did you change your mind?"_

_Lucius considered this, his eyes narrowed. Eventually, he shook his head._

"_If that had been the case, believe me, you would've known," he said._

_James sighed in obvious relief, sitting down by the side of the fountain, next to the blonde. James looked up at him, imagining he would say something sooner or later. His eyes were fixed on the water, and he watched it glide through his own pale fingers gently._

"_Perhaps Monday," Lucius said pensively—as if he was already reconsidering his words._

"_Monday?" James blinked dumbly._

"_We can meet Monday," Lucius clarified, turning to the raven, "unless you're busy Monday."_

"_No!" James' eyes widened and he sounded panicky, "I'm free on Monday!"_

_Lucius looked amused by his sudden willingness, and gave a sly smirk._

"_Alright, don't forget to bring your potion kit," he said with a nod, and James' face fell, "you didn't forget you have a potions test on Tuesday, did you?"_

Harry wanted to laugh at his father's stupidity, but he knew how horrible those potions tests could be, so he refrained.

"_We're going to study?" James gave a groan, then pouted as if that would help._

_Lucius, as always, was unfazed by the childish pout, and chuckled._

"_I promised Slughorn I would help you," Lucius reminded him. When James continued to pout, his smirk widened and turned rather coy, and he set a hand on the raven's shoulder—James felt the familiar current run up his spine and his skin turned hot—leaning forward so he could whisper in his ear: "for each correct phase you complete, I'll let you kiss me, I promise."_

_When he looked at the boy's face, James was full-out grinning, his smile reaching his eyes. Lucius gave a contented nod and let go of the boy's arm, though James' smile did not falter._

"_Excellent," he flashed him a private smile, before turning on his heel, "I'll see you on Monday."_

_James watched him return to his friends with hearts in his eyes, disbelieving that he would only have to suffer for four more days before he was allowed to touch the blonde freely. He knew that the promise of even a single kiss was more than enough to last him all week, but he was also ecstatic that he wouldn't even have to wait that long._

_He returned to Sirius and Remus with the broadest grin still on his face, the two having a friendly argument about their essays. They were teasing as James sat down, sending the blonde girl, who was once more flattering herself to Lucius, a hateful glare before he turned goo-goo-eyed once more._

_Four more days._

"_Who is that stupid bitch anyway," he grunted, and Sirius looked up in surprise—his hair stuck at all angles from where he had been tickling Remus, only to be attacked in return._

"_She's a friend of Narcissa," he replied, and smoothened his black mop, giving Remus a last poke, and then he added thoughtfully: "he must really like you mate."_

"_What do you mean?" James frowned and picked up his text book, eyes still on Lucius._

"_You do realise he's the coldest prick in Hogwarts right?" Sirius said, eyebrows up in disbelief, "He's only ever nice to you. I mean, had anyone else just strutted over there like that, he would've cursed them into next week!"_

_At this James glared, and he turned to his friend._

"_You mean to say you sent me over there knowing fully well he might curse me for it!" he sounded outraged, and _Harry laughed aloud,_ before the image dissolved into a new one._

_James was seated by a table in an empty potions lab. His kit was next to him, open and on display, the cauldron cold above an unlit fire. He had his notebook opened on the desk, and he was tapping at it with his quill, humming to a wordless tune._

_Lucius appeared in the doorway soon after, his bookbag slung around his shoulder nonchalantly. When he realised James was already in the classroom, his eyes widened a fraction, and he closed the door behind him with a soft 'thunk'._

"_James, you're here already?" it wasn't as much of a question as a statement, but the blonde still expected an answer._

"_I was here this morning and at lunch as well," he said with a shrug, eyes lighting up at the sight of the beautiful boy before him, "I wasn't sure if we'd agreed on an hour, so I just decided to check."_

"_I thought I'd missed you at lunch..." Lucius said pensively, before heading over and agreeing: "I am sorry, I had just assumed we would do this after classes, since that's how we've been doing it all this time. That was wrong of me."_

"_Oh no, please don't blame yourself for my being an idiot," James objected, shaking his head fervently, "I should have known. That makes much more sense than my stupid reasoning that perhaps you were in the mood for potions before breakfast."_

_Lucius chuckled at the boy's expression, and joined him on the work-table._

"_Well, if you put it like that," he rolled his eyes mildly, flashing James a rare grin – one reserved solely for the raven,_ Harry believed, since he had never, not in the memories or in reality, seen Lucius grin around anyone else _– before setting his own potion's kit next to James', "let's begin, shall we?"_

_James gave a nod, eagerly flipping open his potion's book—Lucius' promise had been stuck in his head ever since it had been made—even if he didn't like potions, at all, he was looking forward to his reward. When Lucius took his book from him, pushing it aside, he was confused, to say the least, but with the promise of a kiss for every well-completed stage, he was willing to let it slide._

"_We'll start with a Swelling solution," Lucius decided, taking his own notes from his bag, "you should know that one by heart by now, so let's see if you've been brushing up on your general potion-knowledge," James' mouth fell, but Lucius was reading the parchment before him, a stubborn set to his jaw, "alright, phase one, ingredients. What goes in a Swelling solution James?"_

_He looked up expectantly at his own question, eyebrows arching up gracefully when he saw James' baffled look._

"_You want me to make a Swelling solution without my book?" James asked, incredulous, "Surely you must have a death wish."_

_Lucius chortled. James was dead-serious._

"_James, you've made the Swelling solution hundreds of time by now, it's one of the potions Slughorn repeats every lesson," Lucius said, indifferent to James' dramatic expression, "it can be cooked in ten minutes. It'll be fine."_

"_The last time I tried a Swelling solution I managed to melt down my own cauldron," James grimaced, "I don't do well without specific notes... hell, I don't even do well _with_ specific notes!"_

"_We'll cross that bridge when we get there," Lucius said simply, "first tell me, what are the ingredients used in a Swelling solution? I doubt naming those will make your cauldron melt."_

_James gave mentioned cauldron a suspicious look, before gnawing at his bottom lip in thought._

"_Eyes," he finally decided, and _Harry rolled his own green ones. Even he could be more specific when it came to potions.

"_You need to be more specific than that James," Lucius explained patiently, "not just any set of eyes will do."_

"_I can't remember," James whined, "I'm no good at this. Can't we just snog instead?"_

"_No, we cannot," Lucius glared suddenly, "I'm trying to teach you something you can use in your later life, and I doubt your knowledge of what my tonsils feel like will convince anyone to hire you. So pay attention. If you get through phase one, you get one kiss," he inhaled briefly and _Harry could tell he had trouble keeping his emotions in check_, "what kind of eyes go into the Swelling solution?"_

"_Well..." James focused on the empty blackboard, dusty and grand, "I remember it were... some kind of fish eyes..."_

"_Alright, that's something," Lucius urged him, "what kind of fish?"_

"_The one with the weird skin-colour," suddenly James grinned, "yeah! It's erm... the puffer-fish!"_

"_Correct," Lucius nodded, giving a faint smile at James' enthusiasm over such a small feat, "What is the next ingredient?"_

"_Alright, I know this," James concentrated, a new sort of determination set on his features, "there's toadstool, skin of a boomslang, flubberworms and..." he paused, eyes narrowing on the blackboard in concentration, as if he would be able to read the answers off there, "...wings of the black butterfly."_

"_That's good," Lucius nodded happily, "that was easy, wasn't it?"_

_James looked at the older boy as if he was insane, collecting the needed items from his kit._

"_You call that easy?" he asked dubiously, "The only reason it was easy is because now I get to kiss you."_

"_A proper reward can be very stimulating," Lucius agreed, "alright, one phase, one kiss."_

_He turned to the younger boy and waited for him to collect his reward. James leaned up eagerly, pushing his lips to Lucius', his tan hand setting on the shoulder of Lucius' dress shirt._

_Before he had a chance to deepen the kiss, Lucius retreated, focusing on his parchment once more. James pouted, but when he saw the blonde's pink tongue lick his lips as if to have a taste of James still left there, he grinned, biting his bottom lip. The boy was too gorgeous to stand._

"_Alright," Lucius ignored the look James was giving him, "phase two is..."_

_The image shifted slightly, and _Harry noticed that the colour of the sky outside of the potion's lab had darkened considerably, from a light blue to a dark black. _They were still in the same room, six different vials of potions set on the bench, next to their empty cauldrons and closed books. The two boys were on the floor in front of the bench—Lucius was seating with his back against the wall, a bag of Bertie Bott's beans between his crossed legs, his notes on his lap—James leaning against it with a thoughtful expression on his face._

"_...twenty-two flubberworms?" he queried eventually._

"_Correct," Lucius threw a bean his way, which James caught with his mouth, causing the blonde to chuckle, "you shouldn't be so insecure, you're doing very well."_

"_I'm still nervous though," James admitted, and he pulled his legs up to his chest, studying Lucius' face, "I've never been good at potions before. Thank you."_

"_You don't need to thank me," Lucius smiled up at him, their eyes locking, "you worked hard."_

"_You're the only reason I did," James shrugged, "if it weren't for you I would've pretended to listen to Remus as he tried bashing some knowledge in. He tries, but his rewards are amply less entertaining."_

_The blonde laughed aloud, his smile lighting up his entire face, and _Harry was starting to understand what James saw in him. He had never seen Lucius Malfoy smile in real life, but he was so handsome when he did, it was hard not to be attracted to him.

_Lucius threw another bean James' way, and the raven caught it smirking._

"_Oh, it's my turn, right?" James' eyes started sparkling, and he bent his back so he could lean over his own tucked up legs, tapping the floor with his fingers, "Let's see... your favourite meal?"_

"_Bubble and squeak," Lucius said, his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink at the confession._

_James' grin widened and he laughed again._

"_Really? A leftover man, are you?" his canines showed in his grin, and Lucius rolled his eyes at the unabashed teasing._

"_I do prefer leftovers over fish eggs, yes," he quipped, taking a bean for himself._

"_You are not at all like I thought you'd be Lucius," James' smile morphed into something kinder, less teasing._

_Lucius' eyebrow rose delicately, and he fished another bean from the bag, popping it into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully._

"_Do I disappoint you?" he asked, almost painfully casual._

_Once more, James' smile widened, though it was still kind and upright, all the teasing gone. He wrapped his arms around his legs tighter, leaning his head on his knees._

"_Not at all," he answered honestly, "you're even better than I could've ever imagined."_

_Then, he crawled over towards Lucius – a bit clumsily – and sat down next to him, flattering his side into the blonde's._

"_Do you still want to ask me questions?" he asked, giving a point at the parchment, "Because I'm confident that I can at least pass this test."_

"_Alright, then I won't ask you any questions," Lucius set down his papers, leaning his head back against the cold brick wall. He eyed James suspiciously when the boy flattered his head against his shoulder more comfortably, "Don't get any funny ideas there Potter," he warned._

_James looked up innocently, eyes wide._

"_I'm just using your shoulder for support," he pouted, "I wasn't thinking of anything pervy..."_

"_Of course not," a small chortle escaped the pink lips, and James sighed happily._

"_I was thinking... maybe we could go on a date again?" James sounded a bit nervous, but was still rather relaxed, the feel of Lucius next to him calming him, "Because I've noticed you don't really like touching and maybe you won't mind so much if we got to know each other better."_

"_The fact that I don't like people touching me has nothing to do with you James," Lucius looked down at him, hoping they could hold each other's looks, but James was staring at the stone floor, "actually, you're one of the only people that can touch me..."_

_Suddenly he sounded pensive, and James looked up, though now it was Lucius that was looking away._

"_That's good," James decided, "it means you like me. I won't hurt you, you know."_

"_I have no doubt you won't hurt me physically," the blonde agreed to the statement, eyes briefly locking with James' deep brown ones, "mentally... we'll see."_

_James turned to sit on his knees, positioning himself so he could fully see Lucius. He was confused, the emotion etched on his face, and his brow was clearly rumpled._

"_You're afraid I will hurt you?" he asked in disbelief, "After almost two years of bugging you I finally convince you to give me a try, yet you're the one afraid of rejection?"_

"_Don't flatter yourself," Lucius snarled suddenly, pushing himself up his feet, "it's not rejection I fear, but my father's reaction. There are certain rules Malfoys follow, though I don't expect you to understand that, since you make it your goal to tread on every rule ever made. He would probably throw me down a set of stairs if he knew I had let you touch me."_

"_How the hell is that even fair?" James got up as well, giving Lucius an accusing glare, "When I wake up in the morning the only thing I want is to see you, and when I do, I tell myself I'll be fine when you smile but even when you smile it's still not enough because I want to keep you close! Your father needs to revise those rules because they make no sense whatsoever!"_

"_This is absurd," Lucius glared fiercely and he turned to the door. His robes followed his figure, angrily swishing in the wind, "Don't take me for a fool Potter, I will not be sweet-talked by someone like you!"_

"_Someone like me?" James spat. He followed Lucius into the hallway, leaving his potions behind with Lucius' kit, "And who would that be?"_

"_A snotty nosed kid that thinks he can just use me and coax me with bloody kisses!" the blonde threw a glare over his shoulder, "If you were so desperate to get better at potions all you had to do was ask! You didn't have to flirt your way into a P!"_

"_Are you completely deranged!" James yelled, picking up his step to keep up with the taller Slytherin, "I fucking adore you, but you're not good enough to get me a fucking P, no matter how hard you try!"_

_James pulled Lucius to a stop, ruthlessly pulling the blonde head down into a hard kiss. The golden locks glittered all sorts of violent silvers in the moonlight, and Lucius' eyes were wide-open, a dangerous steel. He indulged James for as long as it took, but refused to open his mouth. James desperately tried to force him to, begging entrance using his tongue, but Lucius stayed still and didn't respond._

_When James finally grew tired of trying, deciding he would just have to talk some more to get the blonde to forgive him, he pulled back, panting softly._

"_Don't ever," Lucius said, voice like venom, "kiss me again without permission."_

_With that, he turned around and walked away, leaving James alone in the corridor. James was afraid to even as much as move, the stone-cold voice resounding in his head._ Harry was afraid to move as well, even though he knew Lucius wouldn't be able to harm him, even if he did, and he felt terribly sorry for his father, but_ the image slowly faded and ran into another one._ Harry barely even noticed, but instead watched as time was speeded up, the darkness behind the tall windows disappearing and being replaced by harsh sunlight._ The hallway was filled with dozens of students, and _Harry noticed his father_ coming from the potions lab, carrying his own kit as well as Lucius'. He was talking to Sirius and Remus and Peter, and _Harry headed over so he could hear them speak._ James had a broad grin on his face, though it didn't reach his eyes, making it clear that he wasn't as happy as he appeared to be._

"_I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" James shooed his friends off, "I promised Slughorn I'd return this to Lucius."_

_Remus nodded and he turned to leave with Peter, pausing when he noticed Sirius didn't follow. The raven watched his friend walk into the opposite direction._

"_I'll be right behind, I just need to ask 'em something," he smiled at the brunette, before going after his friend._

_James was too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice Sirius' presence and he almost jumped when Sirius set his hand on his shoulder._

"_Hey," the boy greeted, taking his time to think of what to say, "are you alright? Was it the test?"_

"_Oh, no," James tried smiling, but now that he knew that he couldn't fool Sirius, it seemed pointless, "the test went great. I'm sure I'll get an A, at least!"_

"_Is it Lucius then?" Sirius pried further, "I'd noticed something was off when you returned from your studying yesterday. Is he bad at tutoring?"_

"_Not at all," James shook his head fiercely, "he's the only reason I'll even pass the test! It's just..." he looked a bit uncomfortable, and scratched the back of his neck. He was momentarily distracted by a girl passing by and winking, and grinned back. But then when he turned around Sirius was looking at him and he sighed deeply, "We had a fight."_

"_What was it about?" Sirius asked gently._

"_Honestly? I don't even know for sure," James shrugged, "first we were fine really, but then we started about his dad's stupid rules and it escalated and he kind of... accused me of only wanting to be his... friend so he can tutor me."_

"_Well that's just silly," Sirius frowned, tapping the boy's back in comfort, "I'm sure he knows better than that, you must've really set him off."_

"_You don't think that's what made him angry?" James looked over at his friend, trying to read his thoughts, his eyes wide, "Because he stormed off angrily..."_

"_It's more likely that the fact that you talked about his father confused him," Sirius pushed a lock of black hair behind his ear, pausing contemplatively, "I don't think he talks about his dad often. I mean... I don't talk about my parents often because they're horrid, but Lucius' dad is even worse. He would stop at nothing to keep his son in line, and James," his voice turned oddly stern, and he turned sideways and ducked his head, lowering to a mere whisper: "when I say nothing, I mean nothing."_

_James blinked a couple of times, letting the information sink in._

"_I might have..." he stopped himself in shame, feeling guilty after what Sirius had told him, "Perhaps I implied that he's an idiot for listening to his father..." he bit his lip, looking up at his friend with hope for comfort, "I mean... I said the rules were stupid."_

"_Well, it could've been worse," Sirius shrugged half-heartedly, and they reached the transformation corridor, where the third-grade Slytherins were gathered, "he could've killed you."_

_James sent a glare his way and spotted Lucius in the crowd. He was talking to one of his fellow Slytherins, pushing his hair back behind his ear every now and then when it bothered him. He had a sort of frown on his face, nodding to indicate he agreed with the other boy, while still remaining his usual stern self._

"_So, just go apologise," Sirius proposed._

"_Why is it that every time you try to be nice," James glared, "I get a feeling you're trying to get me killed?"_

"_You want things to be okay again, don't you?" Sirius asked, "And just look at it this way: he's had hundreds of chances to kill you, why would he do it now, with all those eyewitnesses?"_

_James gave his friend a full-on glare and left his side—which_ Harry figured was actually Sirius' purpose—_making his way to the back of the line where Lucius stood. As soon as he was close to the boy, the other Slytherin frowned, realising there was a Gryffindor coming over to talk, apparently._

"_What do you want?" the boy sneered, and Lucius turned around in surprise._

_When their eyes locked, Lucius' darkened and he tipped up his head slightly as a sign of superiority, daring James to speak. The younger gulped helplessly and briefly gazed at Sirius who was just standing there, smiling. The bastard._

"_Erm... I just..." he bit his lip and then gathered all his courage, pushing Lucius' kit into the boy's arms, "I'm sorry that we fought. I know it's my fault, I shouldn't have... brought it up in the first place, I had no right, but... I know I could never force you to tutor me, even if I wanted to, so I can promise you, I didn't even try. I'm really not that kind of person and I made sure Slughorn would give you extra credit for your hard work," he took a deep intake of breath, "I'm really very sorry and hope you can forgive me. I will go now, I've made enough of a twat out of myself."_

_With that he returned to Sirius' side, worrying his lower lip as if he was afraid Lucius would jump at him suddenly. Sirius looked oddly proud, and gave him a hug when his friend reached him._

"_That was awful," James groaned, "I feel awful. I can't believe what a twat I am."_

"_I'm sure it will be fine," Sirius smiled, "you got him back his kit and—oh..."_

"_What?" James frowned, and Sirius gave a pointed stare at the boy's kit._

"_Does that say L.M.?" Sirius took it from his hands, "Ah, yes it does."_

_James' eyes widened in absolute horror._

"_Oh no, I can't go back there now!" James whimpered at the thought of having to face Lucius again, "He's so uncaring! And oh nononono, Merlin, no!"_

_Sirius patted his shoulder reassuringly and went over the blonde Slytherin in James' stead. When Lucius' conversation-partner noticed the Gryffindor, he gave Sirius a pointed stare, once more drawing Lucius' attention. He turned to the Black boy in mild interest, frowning._

"_I'm terribly sorry to interrupt," Sirius said pleasantly, "James gave you the wrong one," he swapped the kits and gave a smile, "ah. And he's very sorry."_

_Lucius nodded in understanding, and then pointed at something behind Sirius. The boy turned—_Harry following to see what was going on—_and his eyes widened. James was banging his head against the wall, hard._

"_You might want to go stop him before he bashes his brains out," Lucius suggested, "that'd be no sight."_

"_You could just forgive him you know," Sirius turned back to look at Lucius, trying to pierce him with a stern gaze._

"_Yes, I could," Lucius agreed, and then went back to his conversation with the other Slytherin._

_Sirius rolled his eyes and went to aid his friend._

"_Come on James, we have to get to class," he carefully removed James from the wall—everyone staring at the boy in shock—fixing his glasses on his nose, "that's better, off we go."_

_James wobbled a bit as he walked, his head dizzy, but followed his friend as best as he could._

Harry felt a tug and was catapulted into the couch quite suddenly and it felt as if he had been pulled out of the image rather than it had just dissolved. James was seated next to him, giving him a smile.

"You realise you're a moron, don't you?" Harry said, a bit peeved.

Really, why was James always banging his head into things at one point or another?

"I prefer the term 'fool for love'," James quipped happily, "besides, there is no denying the fact that Lucius is worth it."

"He looks really nice," Harry had to agree, "not like the Lucius Malfoy I know."

"Well, if I were him, I'd be bitter too," James turned a bit sad, giving a small scowl, "I know this won't do me any good, and I'm a mere memory but... is Draco okay? And do you know if my son is okay too?"

"Yeah, they're both fine," Harry grinned now—even though he knew James couldn't actually see him, and that his father wasn't actually there to begin with, it was still nice to talk to him like that, "they don't like each other very much, but I think that will change soon."

"That's good," James smiled again, "I'd always hoped we'd be a family some day. Lucius is really good with kids you know, for as far as I know Narcissa never took much care of Draco. I'm sure he turned out just like him."

"Yeah," Harry chuckled, nodding, "yeah, he did."

**AN: yes for ending it here ! Come and see next chapter ! BEG FOR IT !**


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